Now children, it’s a day to celebrate your grandparents. Grandparents Day! I never had a grandparent myself. They were all dead before I was born except for one grandmother and she was really nasty. In fact, she was in prison for poisoning my grandfather. She poisoned him by injecting weed-killer into homemade chocolates. I was always jealous of those who had proper grandparents. I hated it when other kids talked about their grandparents and how nice they were.
Anyway, I want those who have four grandparents living nearby to form a line here. And those with three grandparents living nearby to form a line here. Those with two grandparents living nearby to form a line here. Those with one grandparent living nearby to form a line here. And those with no grandparents can go outside and play.
I have a basket of chocolates and, depending on what line you are in, you are to take one, two, three, or four chocolates. After school today I want you to go and visit your grandparents and surprise them with a chocolate each for Grandparents’ Day.
I made the chocolates myself using a recipe my grandmother used.
Weave a Web 
This is excellent dark humour Bruce. I chucked but I’m wondering now if I laughed too much!
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Thanks Nitin. Can I offer you a chocolate? It’s non-fattening – VERY non-fattening!
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Ha ha!
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Urk.
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Well, if any of my grandchildren offer me chocolates for any occasion, I will be nice and tell them, “Oh, please, you go ahead and have one first.”
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Forgot I was going to point out that if the children were naughty and sneaked the chocolate before getting to the grandparent’s house…well…
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The kids eating it first might have been the teacher’s plan! I never thought of that!
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An excellent plan. I shall get the wife to taste it first.
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I hope those kids were listening…
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Kids never listen. The next generation never does.
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Doesn’t bode well for the grandparents…
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All students named Catsprick…gets double. Just because.
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He was Polish. Whenever I had to use the name in school assembly I’d say Carspreek – like I was fluent in Polish!
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That is the best idea…poor kid.
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Playing outside is much more fun than taking chocolate to grandparents. Maybe next year all of the kids can have a fun afternoon on the playground.
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That might have been the teacher’s idea. But then again, the parents probably like chocolate…
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Quite true.
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You’ve exposed a glaring hole in the narrative. If this continues my reputation as a writer of non-fiction is going to be knocked to smithereens.
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At least Miss Honeybun will still be on your side.
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Yeah – Miss Honeybun’s a real sweetie.
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She sure sounds like it.
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Do you use AMP on your wrodpress site. I’m about to press the button to download it on mine but am a bit scared.
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I don’t use anything on my WordPress, it’s about as close to stone tablets as I can get.
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OK – I’m going to emulate your behaviour. I don’t want to lose the little bit of control over the CSS & HTML on WordPress that I have. It’s already quite a round about thing I do to get what I want.Thanks for that.
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Sure thing.
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That is a psychopath’s dream (of spreading Wuhan Virus among the elders) come true.
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The teacher’s name I never gave; it was Ms Peng Liyuan.
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Thank goodness I’m not a grandparent, what have they done to deserve this!
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Yes – I agree with the question but it seems most tragedies aren’t earned!
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Well, that will create equality among all the children! I’m just please to be a grandmother and Eli has four grandparents, so four pieces please!
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