Tag Archives: teacher

1113. News from Hickton-in-Sticks

It’s been a month now, perhaps six weeks, since the town of Hickton-in-Sticks got broadband. Mrs Myrtle Beech said it was a great disappointment. She had waited months, even years, to start a blog and thus far nothing had gone viral.

“Nothing has gone viral,” said Myrtle. “The whole thing’s a scam.”

Mr Bristol Port agreed.

“I’d looked forward to broadband excitedly,” said Bristol. “But once you’ve seen one porn site you’ve seen the lot. In fact I get a great deal more satisfaction looking into the mirror. It’s blown way out of proportion.”

Ms Savannah Field thought the whole thing was marvellous. She was the town’s school teacher and the online computer games at least got the kids off their phones.

“It’s great for me as a teacher,” said Savannah. “The kids log on first thing in the morning and by the end of the day they’re reluctant to go home. Computer games are certainly a great boon for a teacher, and getting broadband in Hickton-in-Sticks has improved the quality of education the kids are getting.”

“It’s a scam,” said Myrtle.

“It’s blown out of proportion,” said Bristol.

“Put it this way,” said Savannah. “Things have changed for the better since we’ve got broadband. In the last month only five people from Hickton-in-Sticks have committed suicide.”

1089. Cultural clash

(First, a housekeeping notice! From now on there will be no daily story posted on the days there is a music or a poetry posting. All I’m really trying to say is: there will be only one posting a day! The music is posted on a Wednesday (New Zealand time) and the poem(s) on the first of the month and then at whim throughout the month. This is to prevent a gluttonous overkill! Thanks – Bruce)

(* By way of explanation for today’s story:
In parts of Polynesian it is insulting to stand higher than a person of greater status.
In parts of Polynesia it is insulting to look at a person in authority when being spoken to.
The list could go on… and on…)

European Teacher (seated): Makafalani ’Oto’ota, stand up. Look at me when you’re being spoken to. Look me in the eye like a man. I said stand up. I never told you that you could sit down again. LOOK AT ME. You’ll never get on in the world with that attitude. STAND UP AND LOOK AT ME. Oh God! You’re on detention. You’re utterly, utterly disrespectful. It’s impossibly trying to teach common courtesy to some people.

1061. Teach her

Dare Mister an misses Sniff

I am righting this let her two let U no that you’re door terse spelling is terror able.

As her teach her I phaal response able.

I have tolled her new mere rush thymes hour two tern the spell chequer on but she wont lessen. Theirs know re son four her not two yous it. I have mien on currant lea.

Thangs

858. He brushed passed

858maths

Mr Sonny Hickmott was a pretty good teacher of Mathematics. Most of his high school students achieved well. Trena however, hated his guts. She hated Mathematics, and extended the hatred to Mr Sonny Hickmott.

Trena wished to see the school counsellor. “Twice Mr Hickmott has brushed passed me. It is most uncomfortable. He stands in the aisle between the rows of tables so I have to squeeze past him to get out. He stands at the classroom door and I have to wiggle through.”

Trena wished to see the school principal. “Twice Mr Hickmott touched me. He leans over my shoulder and pretends to be helping me with my work. But he’s touching me. And once he brushed passed and touched my breast.”

These days Mr Sonny Hickmott is out of work. No one will employ him. Trena has dropped Mathematics altogether. She’s feeling pretty pleased with herself. Except, she doesn’t like History, and hates her History teacher’s guts.