2998. It makes scents

The neighbours seem forever to be throwing loud parties. In fact it’s only two or three times a month but it feels like every day. I don’t mind them partying, but it’s the THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! of the music that drives me crazy. I asked once if they could turn it down. They looked at me as if I was from Mars and carried on partying.

I even tried going to see a movie at the theatre but it finishes around ten in the evening and I’ve still got three or four hours of the THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Recently during a party the power went off – in the whole street. I thought the party might dissolve but it took only one charged phone to get the THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! going again. I thought working for the power company might be to my advantage. But no.

For the last party I came up with the ultimate solution, but unfortunately I can only use it once without creating suspicion. At the back of my house is an old wattle tree. I remember as a kid if you crush a wattle seed and spit on it, it stinks like you wouldn’t believe. So I crushed a couple of handfuls and spat on them. Then I wandered around the neighbour’s house dropping the stink bombs. It didn’t take long to have an effect. The party folded up within half an hour. Everyone left.

I myself am going to the movies. The pong wafts over the fence from the party house. It’s horrible to the point of making me sick. Hopefully by the time I get back the wattle seeds will have run out of stench.