2472. Mirror Mirror

The ugly, wicked Queen would look into the Mirror and ask “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

The Mirror would always respond with, “You are the most beautiful person on the planet, you gorgeous thing. When you look into the Mirror I reflect sunshine and rose petals, and hear the soft cooing of turtle doves.”

“Quite frankly,” responded the Queen as always, “I’m not surprised.”

When the ugly, wicked  Queen’s daughter, a real beautiful Princess, looked into the Mirror and asked the same question, the Mirror always responded the same: “Are you trying to crack me up, you ugly, lying, dog-faced pony soldier?”

When the ugly, wicked Queen died, which she eventually did, she took with her the knowledge that she was the most beautiful person in the world. Thank goodness she had purchased that Mirror from a second hand store when there was a sale on. It had brought much Truth and Honesty to her life.

What the ugly, wicked Queen never knew was that the Mirror had learnt its tricks off its first owner: a politician.

977. Breast implant

Veronica wanted a breast implant. She hated the way she looked. Side on in the mirror she looked like a rake handle. She felt that people made fun of her behind her back because of her lack of breasts.

To be fair, Veronica’s trouble was more body dysmorphic disorder than vanity. She wanted a breast implant so as to look “normal”, not to look gorgeous.

Her mother said she should wait until she was at least fourteen.

Listen to the story being read HERE!