It had been a difficult time for Annie. She knew she wasn’t living in cuckoo land, but everyone else seemed to think so. No one believed her when she spoke of what had happened to her; where she had gone and why. Now she simply shut up about it except on rare occasions. If the person had asked kindly she didn’t mind too much narrating her experience, but usually she resented being pooh-poohed.
Her abduction naturally wasn’t voluntary. The aliens had been polite but firm. She had been selected because she was practical in the kitchen. They wanted to ask her about ordinary kitchen utensils. Most of them they couldn’t work out what they were for. A hand-beater for example; what was it used for and how?
Annie discovered that the aliens had every kitchen utensil and appliance under the sun, and wanted to have an entire room in the main museum on their home planet dedicated to Earthling Kitchen Gadgetry. Annie thought it quite fun to tell them all sorts of tall stories. A spatula, for example, was used for beating a wayward child. A frying pan was for smashing eggs; just place half a dozen eggs on the bench and smash them with a frying pan. A garlic press was for destoning plums. There was nothing that Annie didn’t make up a story about. Next time you go to the aliens’ museum you’ll see how wrong they have got the labelling. That’s because of Annie’s stories.
“That’s absolutely fascinating, Annie,” said the nurse. “The doctor will see you in a minute.”
I for one…know Annie is telling the truth… but I don’t like what Annie did to our museum. You earthlings are just so mean.
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Yeah well – you’ve gotta remember that you aliens have pinched most of our long-playing records and used them as Frisbees.
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We have to have some recreation….we gave you cds so be happy with that.
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Of course you could probably enjoy those CDs more because of your eight ears.
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Yea we tried 8-track tapes first because of that…but they didn’t do the job.
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When (in 1973) I was studying electronic music at university we had to compose a piece of music for 8 tracks. The technology was so “advanced” that I had 8 tape recorders and with tapes looped across the room and turning on the backs of chairs. It was great fun of course!
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Oh that is experiment time…and that was a great playground. My buddy and I started out with 2 cheap cassette players with over dubbing and then as we got older when to cheap studios and finally bought an 8-track reel to reel and played.
Now on computer there is no end to overdubbing…well until you up your memory.
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Back then the electronic studio was state of the art and now I do all my music with just a free program and the mouse! It’s not as sophisticated as you but good enough for my needs.
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I use a program called Cubase….it’s not the best but yea…it does what I need. I used the free version for a long time… I will say this…it took me forever to learn it. They all do about the same now.
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I shall investigate it – although I’m a bit set in my ways these days!
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I admire the creativity Annie had with cooking utensils. A spatula for example is much more unorthodox than a mere belt.
I believe everything she said. I hope she brought her spatula along to that doctor’s appointment.
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Ha ha! She was a spatula expert.
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That doctor is in for it. God bless her
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I’m afraid the aliens are going to be very angry when they find out that their heroine has been locked away.
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So you’ve been chatting to the aliens too.
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Now that is what I call poetic justice.
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Yes, I felt the same when I was abducted. Did you feel like that too?
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I was the one abducting.
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The doctor will see you shortly
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I’d prefer a second opinion.
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Quite frankly, if the aliens resort to kidnapping when a little investigative work would do the trick they deserve to be misled. Morals people!
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Aliens, I find, like to go the whole hog.
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I prefer bacon.
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She sounds perfectly sane to me! but those aliens got fooled!
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The doctor will see you soon. Wait in line please.
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Our world is full of things we didn’t know we needed – it is our revenge to pass them on to the aliens too.
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I have important necessities in my kitchen drawers that have never been used.
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