2265. History is made

Theodora was a stickler for looking nice. She would never appear in public without first putting on her glad rags. A carefully made up face was a must, and always with lipstick to match her nails.

When an earthquake struck and she ran out of her home flat stick, people commented that surely she wasn’t dressed to the nines all the time. She must have known an earthquake was about to strike! But the reality was, of course, that she did care every day for her appearance in and out of the house.

It therefore came as quite a surprise when Theodora’s name began to be associated with Teddy Potts. Teddy was a local farmer and as rough as guts. Even the backside of his pants was worn and sometimes torn. He always had a bit of hay here and there on this woollen pullover. The self-rolled cigarette permanently hanging from his lips was rarely lit. It was there for effect.

Soon Theodora and Teddy announced their engagement. All were invited to the wedding on the farm. It was to be “Bring a plate” (which is the Australian/New Zealand term for Potluck). The big question was: what should the wedding guests wear? It was on a farm so dress casually; or it’s Theodora’s wedding so dress fashionably; or it’s Teddy’s wedding so wear your old gardening clothes.

Guests arrived wearing all sorts. What a mixed crowd! Teddy was in a tuxedo but with a cigarette still hanging out his mouth. Theodora arrived wearing a stunning ensemble complete with veil and holding a bunch of barley and wild flowers off the farm.

Everyone had a great time. Even the old cow just across the fence watched the proceedings and mooed when the couple kissed. Everyone laughed.

And so, Dear Reader, this tale is proof indeed that some plots don’t ever get off the ground. Most lives are ordinary. They’re not riddled with murder and intrigue but things happen in a lovely way. And no doubt this couple lived happily ever after.

15 thoughts on “2265. History is made

  1. umashankar

    The conclusion is an anti-epic of sorts, but the real story is the meta story which also has a moral story entirely different form the fictional proceedings. If the reader hasn’t already pinched himself hard when the clumsy farmer appears in tuxedos, the mooing of the cow timed with the kissing of the couple is an awakening call.

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  2. Sarah Angleton

    I don’t know whether I’m more delighted to learn the phrase “rough as guts” or “take-a-plate.” The last time we lived in Missouri, about 70 miles to the west of where we are now, we learned the term “carry-in” dinner for a potluck. With a Midwestern accent, that sounds a bit like a carrion dinner, so we were somewhat alarmed at first that the meal was going to be rough as guts. I don’t know where the great potluck/carry-in divide occurs, but where we are now, we have potlucks.

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    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I have never heard the carry-on/carrion expression before. When I was studying in Boston (years ago) there was to be a Potluck for the class. Thank goodness there was a group of Australian nuns (who were as rough as guts) in the class who explained Potluck to me! The “Bring a Plate” expression has fooled many a new (especially Asian) citizen who turn up with an empty dish!

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