It was getting to be a bit of a habit. Goldilocks, in retrospect, had so enjoyed invading the house of the Three Bears, that visiting people’s houses when they weren’t home was becoming a bit of a habit. She’d visited the homes of the Three Raccoons, the Three Prairie Chickens, and the Three Coyotes. Next on the list was the house of the Three Beavers.
Goldilocks the Prowler had to put on her swimming trunks to visit the Beavers because they had built their house on the water in the river. But it was no trouble. Goldilocks knocked on their door and of course, as she had suspected, they weren’t home. Goldilocks entered uninvited.
First she sat in the chairs. Then she ate some porridge. Then she went to sleep in one of the beds. While she was asleep a storm swept through. The river flooded, and Goldilocks drowned.
What a silly girl!
Weave a Web 
And property crime rates plummeted!
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Let’s face it, we knew it was Goldilocks all along!
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Great concept! Goldilocks the home invader.
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She always was!!
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She needed a water bed
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I prefer she drowned – the wretched child.
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We don’t need ‘precogs’ to check ‘precrimes’, or juvenile ‘pre-delinquency as’ in this case. If only Goldilocks’ parents hadn’t fed her with stupid fairytales about a cute little girl who stole into the house of the three bears, she wouldn’t have committed the string of burglaries she did, eventually leading to the fateful incident.
Wait! Is their a fault in space-time? You can bring her back to life in your next story!
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What I meant to say is, there is a glitch in the Matrix…
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When the terrible witch throws Hansel and Gretel into the oven in her candy house, perhaps we could throw Goldilocks in too? I refer to the predrowned Goldilocks.
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How very considerate, Bruce! Alternately, we may stun her before we throw her into the oven, or boil her with live crabs.
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A worthy author of fraternity has just self-published a book called ‘Unfairy Tales’ whose blurb kind of reads like this:
The book chronicles not one but seven such unfairy tales – tales told by undead horsemen and living cities. Tales of mistreated hobgoblins and misunderstood magicians. Tales of disagreeable frogs and distressed mice. And bears baring their souls. Once you read these stories, you will never be able to look at a fairy tale the same way ever again.”
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I like fairy tales! have a book – cost me nearly $300 30 years ago – with nearly 3000 fairy stories from around the world. That was when I was writing musicals for children. But I still love the book today!
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Nice story. Random aside, I really do hate porridge.
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I like porridge – especially floating in thick unhealthy cream and with brown sugar. But I haven’t had it for 15/20 years – the porridge bit is too healthy.
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I always knew Goldilocks was a delinquent…I guess she got the death penalty.
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I was never particularly fond of the little brat.
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Maybe the beavers loosened their den and sent her on the way!
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Lets hope she wasn’t waterlogged.
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