1232. A modern day Dear John letter

Quite frankly I’m shocked. I put your name into a search engine and I’d now like to end our relationship. There are ways and means of doing things, and times and places, and you’d think that a modern person, such as you like to call yourself, could do better than that.

I was disgusted; I think more disgusted than I’ve been in a long time. I asked my father about it, and he said, “Dump her. Dump her as fast as you can say Jack Robinson.” So I’m doing that. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.

You must be the only person in the world left who doesn’t appear on the search engines. My father says if a person’s name don’t appear near the top by the age of seventeen they ain’t gonna do much else in life either. You’re in your late teens and I see you’ve achieved nothing. You could’ve at least have posted a photo or something. If you typed in my name you’d see I appear all over the place, and pretty sexy too I reckon. You’ve got to get up and go in this world today. You’re a nobody. Just remember that; a nobody, and always will be. All the best.