It was no fault of Mavis that she was born with two noses. She had four nostrils. It didn’t seem to add to her sense of smell; in fact compared to some her smell appeared sometimes below par.
Some people were appalled at the sight of her, but it’s amazing what you can get used to with familiarity. It’s only ignorance that prevents people from looking beyond appearances. Yes, I suppose Mavis having two noses and four nostrils did make her ugly to look at and difficult to relate to, but underneath she had a sparkling personality and that’s what matters.
Not even having four ears could distract from her noses. She “cheated” a bit with her ears because she let her hair grow down over them and most people didn’t notice. It was only at secondary school when her calculating calculus teacher got scissors and cut Mavis’s hair off to illustrate a point about the number 4 that people began to realize that she had extra ears. “Spare ears” the calculus teacher called them. Again, having an extra two ears didn’t seem to add to her aural perceptions. In fact, to hear her sing was a clear sign that she was tone deaf.
To be fair, her tone deafness might not have been brought about by having four ears. It might have been caused by the fact that she had two tongues. She wasn’t (dear me, no) born with two tongues. She was late in starting to learn to talk so her father split her tongue in the manner (now banned) of splitting a magpie’s tongue to facilitate human speech in the magpie. It made little difference to Mavis. She was still a late developer when it came to speech and always spoke with a lisp.
It wasn’t so much her lisp that was annoying; it was her stutter. She had the most terrible stutter, and with a split tongue we had the odious obligation to sit patiently while she said everything twice.
It’s not impossible that by now you’ve heard enough about Mavis to get a picture of her. She had lots of other things of interest with her body as well, like a fifth arm that poked out of her neck. All that need be said is that Mavis’s luck changed around her twentieth birthday. A fairly insignificant artist – Pablo someone – asked her to pose for a painting. She did so, and has never looked back.
You know what they say about beauty….
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It’s in the be-eye of the holder.
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I love reading educational blogs like this. I never understood Pablo What’shisname before. I just thought he was a really bad artist. Thanks so much for sharing this vital story with me. Wait until I tell my art major friends. They have strange ideas about art, though.
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Those arty people are always sticking one of their noses in where it doesn’t belong.
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Makes me wonder what else ran in the family.
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Just found your comment tucked away in the spam. Thanks for the comment and sorry to have missed it Lucy.
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Haha! I didn’t see that coming! (Or going.)
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Thanks Val – I’d give you a black and white photo of her to colour if one ever existed!
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Ah, but where would I start, her left nose, or her right ear?
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Start by colouring her lisp.
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Some stories are circular. This could be the world’s first cubist story. Wonderful. Had me chuckling merrily.
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Glad to have cheered up a bod in Merry Olde England!
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Did not see that coming. Well done.
Terry
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Thanks Terry. Glad to have caught you out!
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This story passes the sniff test.
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Hear hear.
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I wonder how many other organs Mavis had in abundance. No wonder Pablo was hooked!
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Uma! The mind boggles!
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Oh God.
I was born with two brains. They didn’t add anything to my intelligence or made me any Genius; in fact, compared to others, I perform often below par.
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Performing below par is probably because you eat too much broccoli. Just a thought.
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