Nothing makes a mess in the washing machine like an unnoticed tissue. It may have been left in a pocket or simply stuck to a garment by way of static electricity. But in the washing machine it will disintegrate into a thousand pieces and fleck every item of clothing with impossible-to-remove fragments.
Jocelyn had a sister for whom she had responsibility. The sister, Kat, was “special needs”; not super-super special needs, but someone who required a little bit of extra care with some things.
When it came to doing the laundry, even though Jocelyn checked the pockets for tissues, the batch of laundry always emerged paper-flecked. Jocelyn couldn’t work out why until she discovered that Kat was dropping a tissue into the washing machine during the rinse cycle because she “thought it was funny.” Jocelyn didn’t have time to stand in front of the washing machine to protect it from Kat’s trickery, so for a while she put up with it. But enough is enough!
One day she told Kat to “do your own laundry today because I’m busy”. She had secretly dropped four sheets of tissues into the washing machine before Kat began to use it. Kat didn’t notice the tissues were there and began her task.
What a disaster! The drain blocked and the laundry flooded. Jocelyn called a plumber, who was expensive and couldn’t come for two days. The price of the plumber meant they had to do without dessert all week to save on not being able to purchase more butter and eggs. Kat got all upset because she thought it was her fault. It was one unhappy household, I can tell you.
That was when Jocelyn got a cold and her nose started running and there were no tissues left. Somewhere, in a bottom drawer, she found a small pile of handkerchiefs that hadn’t been used for years. They were brought into commission. In the meantime, Jocelyn washed everything by hand. It was raining and nothing, without the aid of a spin cycle, would dry.
Jocelyn confessed to Kat that there had been tissues in the washing machine and nothing was Kat’s fault, and Kat told Jocelyn that Jocelyn was “naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty” which drove Jocelyn slightly bananas, but she put up with it.
Eventually things returned to normal. The washing machine was fixed. The laundry was dried out. Dessert was reinstated. A new box of tissues was purchased. Thank goodness! And Kat returned to secretly dropping a tissue into the rinse cycle, because she “thought it was funny”.
This is a great story Bruce. It’s fun to read and ends perfectly. I enjoyed this. I thought Jocelyn might get an allergy because of the handkerchiefs, and then pneumonia and die on the hospital bed, dreaming of tissue paper, but that story exists in a parallel universe, I’m sure!
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!! As you know, I am loathe to kill people off!
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Some things never change.
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Too true!
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I have a hunch that Kat sneaks into my place every once in a while.
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I find the only way to get rid of a disintegrated tissue is to hang the clothes outside in the wind!
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It is an exquisite post-modern story. Mr Saunders may sell his Audi and retire to Big Woods now.
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You got me doing some googlicationing… Saunders- Big Woods….
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Now – Google is no help to me in deciphering your comment – I searched for Mr Saunders for Big Woods and for Audi. You have to remember that I’m very yesterday.
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This is just so typical of someone who’s no good at pranks trying to get their own back – I’m not speaking from experience of course…
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Haha! I can’t tell a joke very well either.
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Me neither 🙂
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I’m glad they went back to tissues. Nothing is worse than laundering someone else’s crusty, snotty handkerchiefs! I’ll take picking off tissue lint over that any day.
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Thanks for the fairly graphic description!!
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This is somehow the most sinister story of all.
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It’s sinister because you use tissues and not linen and starched handkerchiefs.
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It’s because I do the laundry!
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Oh that’s so humdrum Chelsea. Take up starching the napkins and underwear. That should wake them up!
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😀
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