Tag Archives: washing

1628. Tatty blues

Gazing out the window at his clothes on the line Bruce realised just how tatty his clothes had become. Not only that, but everything was blue. What was needed was a visit to town and some new clothes. Fliers advertising the coming season’s garments had just come in the mail. This was the answer to a prayer:

New range of colours in our Spring Collection! Join in the innovative springtide riot! Throw all caution to the wind with our symphony of hues!

Feeling a desire to “branch out” this was an invitation to recklessness. Bruce got in his old truck and headed for town.

There they were! Row upon row of the new season’s clothes! All black or a lovely shade of grey. The swimming gear was black with white dots. There was one white shirt in different sizes, and (ah! one colour amidst the dismal rows) three pullovers in dark, dark green.

The next time Bruce hung his washing on the line it was identical to the previous load of laundry: all blue and quite, quite tatty.

1579. Rinse cycle

Nothing makes a mess in the washing machine like an unnoticed tissue. It may have been left in a pocket or simply stuck to a garment by way of static electricity. But in the washing machine it will disintegrate into a thousand pieces and fleck every item of clothing with impossible-to-remove fragments.

Jocelyn had a sister for whom she had responsibility. The sister, Kat, was “special needs”; not super-super special needs, but someone who required a little bit of extra care with some things.

When it came to doing the laundry, even though Jocelyn checked the pockets for tissues, the batch of laundry always emerged paper-flecked. Jocelyn couldn’t work out why until she discovered that Kat was dropping a tissue into the washing machine during the rinse cycle because she “thought it was funny.” Jocelyn didn’t have time to stand in front of the washing machine to protect it from Kat’s trickery, so for a while she put up with it. But enough is enough!

One day she told Kat to “do your own laundry today because I’m busy”. She had secretly dropped four sheets of tissues into the washing machine before Kat began to use it. Kat didn’t notice the tissues were there and began her task.

What a disaster! The drain blocked and the laundry flooded. Jocelyn called a plumber, who was expensive and couldn’t come for two days. The price of the plumber meant they had to do without dessert all week to save on not being able to purchase more butter and eggs. Kat got all upset because she thought it was her fault. It was one unhappy household, I can tell you.

That was when Jocelyn got a cold and her nose started running and there were no tissues left. Somewhere, in a bottom drawer, she found a small pile of handkerchiefs that hadn’t been used for years. They were brought into commission. In the meantime, Jocelyn washed everything by hand. It was raining and nothing, without the aid of a spin cycle, would dry.

Jocelyn confessed to Kat that there had been tissues in the washing machine and nothing was Kat’s fault, and Kat told Jocelyn that Jocelyn was “naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty” which drove Jocelyn slightly bananas, but she put up with it.

Eventually things returned to normal. The washing machine was fixed. The laundry was dried out. Dessert was reinstated. A new box of tissues was purchased. Thank goodness! And Kat returned to secretly dropping a tissue into the rinse cycle, because she “thought it was funny”.

1007. Laundering

6washing

I’m having a terrible time trying to get the washing dry. I hung it out this morning – just my husband’s shirt and trousers and things – but it’s been raining all day.

The neighbour stuck her head out her window and asked why I was hanging the washing on the line when it was raining? What does your husband think of you standing in the rain hanging out the laundry? Nosey Parker.

So, the clothes won’t dry, but that’s alright. I was thinking I’d take my husband’s things and put them in the Salvation Army’s used clothing bin. I’ll do that once they’re dry.

I suppose the bullet hole in the back of the shirt won’t matter. As long as it’s clean.