Garth frequently imbibed too much booze, especially if he was at a party. Don’t get me wrong; he was responsible. He wouldn’t drive himself home if he’d had a drink. He always got someone to drive him.
“Just a couple of miles,” he’d say. “Here, take my car keys and drive me home.”
He was always very grateful.
“Just stop here,” he’d say. “This is right where I live. This is my house. But wait! How will you get back yourself? It’s too far to walk. Let me drive you back.”
And he would.
Listen the story being read HERE!
I like a grateful man.
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THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M VERY GRATEFUL FOR YOUR COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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And then he had to find someone to drive him home again!
(I enjoyed the very subtle difference in the two voices—narrator and Garth— of your reading.)
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Thanks! I hope the narrator didn’t sound as subtly drunk as Garth! It’s a complaint as one gets older, but since having had 7 teeth removed just on a year ago I cannot get rid of the hissssss. I’ve turned into a ssssnake!
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Your serpentinity is not apparent in the sound coming through my laptop speaker… 🙂
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Thankssss. I sssshall continue the readingsssss henssseforth!
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It’s your laptop, dearie, lower the treble. I find his hissing endearing. He could do the voice of Kaa in the Jungle Book.
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I have a MacBook Air….it don’t allow me to lower no treble…..
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Well there you go! A MacBook Air. The gizmo came full of air, hence the hissing sound.
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Ssssssssssss
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I most enjoy the readings where his characters have a sailor’s vocabulary!
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When was that? I may be having a senior moment; refresh my memory.
( Psssst…, Oscar, I don’t think Bruce will like being talked about in the third person.)
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My favorite is #642 Hot Breakfast, but there is #’s 620, 681, 704, and 742.
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My favourite is #739, followed by #36.
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The phrase “get stuffed” hardly qualifies as Sailor talk. And number 36 is all about Teatime. Unless if course the sailor drinking that tea burns his mouth and all his cursing is drowned out halfway through the song, where we hear the ruckus he causes in breaking a the china!
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LOL! It was meant to be 379! Not 739!
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Yes. Beer Garden is a great yarn too. I forgot the narrator cursed plenty as well.
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I think he’s gotten used to being spoken of in his absence. But he needs worry not, we’re just a couple of “followers” of his blog.
“Real friends stab you in the front.” -Oscar Wilde
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Ah – I always wondered what a full frontal was.
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Oh I’m sure he wouldn’t mind being referred to in the third person… He uses the Royal We anyway.
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I’ve read all of those….not only sailors use that language….plenty of ordinary vulgar people do.
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True, but something about hearing Bruce read such language makes me giddy.
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I think of it as playing the role of his character(s). Somehow if it were Bruce himself using that language, (as I’m sure he does, on occasion) I bet it would sound different.
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My only public outcry was in a music class of about ten eighteen year old males, and they were studying Ravel’s “Introduction and Allegro For Harp, Flute, Clarinet and String Quartet” and during the soft bit Jonathan Caldwell talked and I said “You just gone and f**ked the moment” and after that whenever the soft bit was played the whole class used to cry out “You just gone and f**ked the moment”. Thank goodness I never lost my job 😦
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Oh – I had better watch my tongue! 🙂 I mean where I put my tongue… 😦 I mean how I use my tongue…. I mean… oh…. f***… you know what I mean…
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“What, with my tongue in your tail? nay, come again, Good Kate; I am a gentleman.” ― William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew
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You always were one with a high-brow classy quotation!
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Ahem, Oscar!
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Sorry I haven’t been about – I’ve been re-planting my tomatoes. And I did use a vulgar word once – my parents never swore – Dad only said “bloody” and Mum only said “bugger”.
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Glad to hear you are once again on top of your tomatoes! I can swear a blue streak if I’m really angry or frustrated, but only if no one else is around! 🙂 My grandfather was a very creative curser, in French….his epithets were a mile long and always started with “JC on a raft…” and went on from there. In his later years he had a stroke and could not speak at all except for the word F*** which he uttered loud and clear. He never swore in the presence of women….(tho of course we often overheard him, in the next room…)
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My primary school teacher used to say “Hell’s bells and buggy wheels” – which I thought was terrible swearing.
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e.g. Land ahoy!
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Perfect
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Thank you, Derrick.
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One must ensure a full tank of petrol whenever going to a drinking party. The to and fro, post party, could on all night!
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Nothing like going to and fro at a party!
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In my younger days there was someone like this, except he always asked women and didn’t expect them to find there way on afterward. I remember the look on his face at one party when I said, “Oh of course. Erich can drive you home and I’ll follow in the car…” He never asked for my assistance again, but by that time, most people were on to him.
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What an excellent chauvinist plan!
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What a gentleman! Reminds me of certain Mr Goodman.
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Thank you. And that from a gentleman AND a scholar!
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Ah! The foolish wit that I am! Pardon me.
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There can’t be two Poloniuses in the one room!
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The gent doth protest too much, methinks.
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I used to think that the arras (where Polonius was stabbed) was something like the rib cage!
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‘Twas but a vision. I retire, my lord.
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