When Penelope Johnstone bludgeoned he husband, Freddie, to death with a hefty ceramic coffee mug all she could think of was thank heavens there wasn’t any coffee in it.
It’s not that she was callous. The bludgeoning had been spontaneous and the “Thank Heavens” thought came into her head at this tragic time and wouldn’t go away. Penelope and Freddie had been having a quiet cup of coffee at the kitchen bench. Penelope asked Freddie if he thought they should do something special to celebrate their fifty-seventh wedding anniversary next Wednesday, and when Freddie said “Dunno” Penelope saw red and bludgeoned him to death with her empty coffee mug. Penelope could offer no explanation for what had suddenly happened, and all she could say to the judge was “Thank heavens there wasn’t any coffee left in the mug. We’d just got new carpet.”
The judge was wise enough to realize that it was a strange and tragic upturn of events that was neither premeditated nor stemmed from long-term repressed negative feelings for a spouse. In such circumstances the judge lent towards leniency and compassion. He gave Penelope Johnstone a hefty amount of community service and hoped she could move on.
Of course, Penelope was sad yet over the moon with relief. As she said to her friend Samantha on the phone once all was over, “Thank heavens there wasn’t any coffee in it.”
It would be a shame to spill a good cup of coffee, and they’d just put new carpets in.
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Spilt coffee is not the same as spilt milk.
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No, it’s much harder to clean up.
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Yes – these no use crying over spilt coffee.
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One poor mug down.
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Hence the term – Mug Shot.
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Are you saying they stayed together for that long because of coffee? Did they take a mug shot at the police station?
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You took my joke before I’d typed it!
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Another lucky thing is that the cup didn’t break. You have the most upbeat stories…
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Thanks Herb. I got the idea off a trial in LA where the woman (whose surname was Goodman! – I was doing family tree research!) bludgeoned her husband to death with a coffee cup. Fortunately they turned out to be no relation.
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He probably tried to give her decaf and she flew into a caffeine-withdrawal induced rage. I’m sure it happens all the time.
Family history research can be interesting. My wife and I did the DNA thing and found some interesting things.
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I hope you didn’t discover you were 1st cousins.
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lol. Not quite as bad as all that although I have heard stories like it. I found out that the man who raised me, that I called Dad, was not my biological father which was a bit of a jolt. I decided that, biology not withstanding, the man that raised me and loved me was my real dad.
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That’s fascinating – and you’re quite right to say he’s your real Dad.
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Thank you.
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You understand the depths of the human soul
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LOL – thank you Sylvie!
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A mugging she could handle.
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Yes, she was no mug.
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I was thinking more about the waste of good coffee rather than the carpet, but I get where she’s coming from!
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I find it humiliating in a supermarket carpark if you drop and break a bottle of wine – it’s no fun having to kneel down in sight of everyone and lick it up.
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I suppose that depends on whether it’s a red or not!
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👌👌
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