My dear Brethren. I had been growing lovely vegetables in my garden so that I could share them with the poor of our beloved congregation. And what happened?
We had invited the bishop to dinner. Our chef was preparing a dish – Blanquette de Veau if you must know – and I asked the cook as I left for my daily walk if he would like a few sprigs of this and that as I passed through our gardens on the way back. I like to make myself useful.
Well, someone had ransacked the garden. All the squash had disappeared. The celery, kale, and lettuces had been stripped. The peas and beans had been plucked. Not all, but a whole row of potatoes had gone west. The list goes on. I asked the head gardener if he knew anything about it and he didn’t. He was as angry as I was.
The chef had to send the housekeeper into town to purchase herbs and vegetables and fruit for the evening meal. We were getting low on ice cream anyway and now needed strawberries and clementines (if they have them) for dessert. Believe me, the road to hell is paved with pips of stolen apples, and the tops of stolen carrots, and corn cobs, and courgette seeds.
I informed the police and they spent considerable time on the investigation. It turns out the vegetables had been stolen by people living in tents on my street. A curse on them. I had arranged for the Press to attend next week as I distribute a few of the vegetables to some of the poor, and now I have had to cancel. That’s the last time I’ll be getting staff to grow stuff for the city’s urchins.
I shall be instructing the police to charge these criminals to the full extent of the law or my name is not ……
The poor man. They destroyed his compassion and his garden.
LikeLiked by 1 person
S/he had a carrot stuck somewhere.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mud?
LikeLiked by 3 people
As in the movie?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Several stories of yours would make good movies.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I took a while to get that Herb!
LikeLiked by 1 person
* Grin *
LikeLiked by 1 person
How dare they steal the veg before a photo opportunity could be provided for giving some of it to them. I hope they got in prison (where they’ll get free room and board for being thieves! For shame. They should bring back the stocks).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bringing back the stocks is an excellent idea. You may have just inspired a story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😁
LikeLike
It’s hard to miss the satire in the entire proceedings and not just the twist. On the other hand, I’ve never been a fan of barbarian impulses of the have-nots.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks – I had a number of specific politicians in mind.
LikeLike
Well, that’s one healthy crook!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Crooks need energy to do their job.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hasn’t he heard of caffeine?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nancy Pelosi!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess the reference to ice cream gave it away!
LikeLiked by 1 person
She does love her ice cream, that woman. (If she is a woman.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Compassion destroyed. I’ll bet Pelosi ordered some of her goons to come in a strip the garden!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Personally I wouldn’t be surprised.
LikeLike
Strange how true compassion rarely photographs well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess true compassion can lose its focus.
LikeLiked by 1 person