Rabbits come in all colours and sizes. A lot depends whether or not people intend to eat them.
The sad fact is that if people intend to keep a rabbit as a pet most prefer a white rabbit. Does not the magician pull a white rabbit out of the hat? Does not little Felicity want a white baby bunny for a pet?
This is systemic racism at its worst. People will tolerate a black rabbit if it’s all there is available. Brown ones are wild, out-of-control, under-developed rabbits that should be exterminated and eaten provided they don’t have a disease, which is not an uncommon condition among feral brown rabbits. Patchy rabbits look like they can’t make up their minds. But fluffy white rabbits… oh! ah! oh!
Strangely however, chocolate Easter bunnies are almost inevitably made of dark chocolate. They are too dark to be considered to be brown. They are closer to black than brown. And they lay dark-coloured eggs. Some of these black eggs have white centres – which is an insidious plot by the white eggs to invade the space of the black eggs.
Look at the chocolate Easter Bunny. It is usually hollow. There is nothing inside. Nothing speaks louder than this extraordinary proclamation of chocolate rabbits having no brains. Or no heart.
Now watch the white middleclass bigot get stuck into the Easter Bunny. First they strip it of its beautiful shiny clothing. Then they might descend into breaking off its ears. I know of one white systemic racist who hit their black Easter bunny with a hammer while his children oohed and aahed their approval. It broke into a dozen little pieces.
There is only one solution to all this systemic racism: ban Easter altogether. There is no need to have a whole season devoted to this exultation of white bunnies and the extermination of chocolate ones by redneck hillbillies. Those who disagree should be condemned to eating hot cross buns for the rest of their lives.
Whilst this is really witty it is also a very true (and sad) reflection of our overly PC society. I remember when PC meant police constable.
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Thanks Chris – I remember PC meaning Police Constable too – although I’m happy to report I never saw one!
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I’ll take your word for it…although, given the subject matter of many of your stories I have my doubts!
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And Personal Computer. Speaking of which, they were all beige!
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Beige is better than grey.
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Happy Easter Bruce! 🥚🐇🐾🙏
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Thank you! And to you!
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You know… hot cross buns are delicious.
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I know – I should have changed it to the other way around and forbidden people from having them!
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Hot, cross buns, one-a-penny, two-a-penny…But what if I don’t have a penny?
Besides, what do buns have to be angry about.
Interesting allegorical tale, by the way.
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When I was smaller “Spend a penny” meant going to the bathroom.
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Wow. Did not know that. Hmm…
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It cost one penny to open the public toilet door! So “Spend a penny” was exactly that!
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I have learned a new thing, today. When I was a boy I remember seeing pay toilets but they were twenty-five cents.
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The rocketing price of having a pee!!
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It is a piece that deserves the Pulitzer for journalism. Happy Easter!
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Thanks Uma. Glad to have pulled a rabbit out of a hat.
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A very clever take on Easter bunnies. I do love good hot cross buns, though. And I hate the hollow Eater bunnies – they taste waxy! 😉
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Yes – we have similar tastes! I love hot cross buns, and much prefer the marsh mellow-filled Easter eggs.
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You make some valid points, but I would just like to state for the record that I hate all bunnies equally.
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Hare! Hare!
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Excellent expose! Keep speaking truth to power!
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Thanks!
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Pingback: 2401. A reflection on the Easter Bunny — Weave a Web | Vermont Folk Troth
Systemic racism is so rampant that at every European game of Soccer both teams players ‘do the kneel’. Every game! Not one day in the year to recognise racism, but every day. What amazes me are the numbers in the stadium who continally applaud their woke conciousness. We are f&%ked.
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I’ve given up watching sports. Yes, we are f&%ked.
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This is a terrific piece of satire. Actually, it’s not satire. It’s how the woke think. You’ve covered everything from systemic racism to cancel culture to left wing madness. You could write a sequel next Easter with CRT in mind.
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Thank you Nitin. I would like to hit CRT for a six (cricket metaphor!)
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One must use a black cricket bat though, and not wear white when they play test cricket. It’s so demeaning.
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The most demeaning things is the cricket box. Those transgender persons without a penis wouldn’t know what to do with it (the box – not the penis).
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True. A cricket box isn’t inclusive enough for the them. Nothing in life is singular. Say it with me: “Truth is plural and changes by the minute, and 2+2=whatever you deem it to be, just like gender.”
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Thank goodness your chant didn’t rhyme – rhyme is so restricting.
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Exactly. A villanelle is poetic slavery, and Shakespeare would have been a racist today. He already proved that he was a control freak by restricting sonnets to fourteen lines. He wouldn’t have aided our cause.
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He also compared someone to a summer’s day. What about a winter’s day? What’s wrong with that?
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Snow. It’s white.
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Dirty snow.
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