2401.  A reflection on the Easter Bunny

Rabbits come in all colours and sizes. A lot depends whether or not people intend to eat them.

The sad fact is that if people intend to keep a rabbit as a pet most prefer a white rabbit. Does not the magician pull a white rabbit out of the hat? Does not little Felicity want a white baby bunny for a pet?

This is systemic racism at its worst. People will tolerate a black rabbit if it’s all there is available. Brown ones are wild, out-of-control, under-developed rabbits that should be exterminated and eaten provided they don’t have a disease, which is not an uncommon condition among feral brown rabbits. Patchy rabbits look like they can’t make up their minds. But fluffy white rabbits… oh! ah! oh!

Strangely however, chocolate Easter bunnies are almost inevitably made of dark chocolate. They are too dark to be considered to be brown. They are closer to black than brown. And they lay dark-coloured eggs. Some of these black eggs have white centres – which is an insidious plot by the white eggs to invade the space of the black eggs.

Look at the chocolate Easter Bunny. It is usually hollow. There is nothing inside. Nothing speaks louder than this extraordinary proclamation of chocolate rabbits having no brains. Or no heart.

Now watch the white middleclass bigot get stuck into the Easter Bunny. First they strip it of its beautiful shiny clothing. Then they might descend into breaking off its ears. I know of one white systemic racist who hit their black Easter bunny with a hammer while his children oohed and aahed their approval. It broke into a dozen little pieces.

There is only one solution to all this systemic racism: ban Easter altogether. There is no need to have a whole season devoted to this exultation of white bunnies and the extermination of chocolate ones by redneck hillbillies. Those who disagree should be condemned to eating hot cross buns for the rest of their lives.

36 thoughts on “2401.  A reflection on the Easter Bunny

  1. Herb

    Hot, cross buns, one-a-penny, two-a-penny…But what if I don’t have a penny?
    Besides, what do buns have to be angry about.
    Interesting allegorical tale, by the way.

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  2. Pingback: 2401.  A reflection on the Easter Bunny — Weave a Web | Vermont Folk Troth

  3. observationblogger

    Systemic racism is so rampant that at every European game of Soccer both teams players ‘do the kneel’. Every game! Not one day in the year to recognise racism, but every day. What amazes me are the numbers in the stadium who continally applaud their woke conciousness. We are f&%ked.

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  4. Nitin Lalit

    This is a terrific piece of satire. Actually, it’s not satire. It’s how the woke think. You’ve covered everything from systemic racism to cancel culture to left wing madness. You could write a sequel next Easter with CRT in mind.

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          1. Nitin Lalit

            True. A cricket box isn’t inclusive enough for the them. Nothing in life is singular. Say it with me: “Truth is plural and changes by the minute, and 2+2=whatever you deem it to be, just like gender.”

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              1. Nitin Lalit

                Exactly. A villanelle is poetic slavery, and Shakespeare would have been a racist today. He already proved that he was a control freak by restricting sonnets to fourteen lines. He wouldn’t have aided our cause.

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