For almost two years Eileen Harrison had poisoned the cheese in her refrigerator. She herself only occasionally ate cheese but her husband, Archie, adored it: Edam, mild and creamy with 28% less fat. Archie would eat no other. He always had a big hunk of it at lunch time between two slices of bread.
It was almost a conjugal duty for Eileen to make sure there was fresh cheese (and a block to spare) in the refrigerator. It was part of the reason she was attempting to poison her husband – apart from the fact she had a secret lover who was excessively rich and she pined for that long-promised vacation in Bali. Archie was obsessed with everything, not just cheese. It was driving Eileen nuts. And yet, no matter how much poison she injected into the block of cheese, it had not the slightest effect on Archie.
Archie’s obsessive, meticulous behaviour was the reason the poison had failed to work; it was the reason why Eileen’s dalliance with her lover had failed thus far to produce a trip to a Balinese resort. The two smallish blocks of cheese sat in the refrigerator on top of one another. Archie figured that Eileen would place the more recent purchased cheese on top; but she didn’t put it on top, she always put it on the bottom because the top one was the poisoned bit. But Archie would take the bottom block because that was the oldest. He was neurotic about that. That is why the top block was sodden with poison and the bottom block was mild and creamy with 28% less fat and fresh and delightful.
So the poisoned cheese sat on the top untouched for almost two years; untouched that is until the lover paid a visit one lunch time.
Ooh! I like this one.
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Look at the camera and say Cheese!
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That was exactly my thought!
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OMG! You people!
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Ah, Bruce, you’ve got me laughing…
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And, no cats were harmed in the making of this post. Life is good.
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I forgot to mention – Eileen, the lady who attempted to poison her husband, spent her twilight years running a shelter for stray animals…
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Yay!
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LOL. I hope they were cats.
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It’s no fun being a cat living a dog’s life.
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This is exactly why I never trust when the wife buys me a food that is my ‘favorite’
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Or walk in front of her down a long flight of stairs.
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*@#%!!! We must be married to the same person!
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When all is said and done, yes, probably.
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There goes the trip to Bali then, unless of course the lover left her all his money in his will, maybe it was planned all along….
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With such conniving on display you are not to be trusted!
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I was certain this was going to end badly for some mice!
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Which brings me to the mouse in the cupboard under my kitchen sink: yesterday it ate all the cheese in the trap and the trap didn’t go off. I think you’re behind this…
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Poetic justice, at last!
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I knew poetic justice would get to me in the end. It only took 1512 stories!
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Evil woman! She deserved the twist- maybe she should have had some too?
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As you know – as a super sleuth! – it’s quite hard to poison cheese and get away with it…
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Never ever expected to read a murder story based on FIFO… Admire your creativity, Bruce.
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Cheese has always been handy for a murder – just look at the mousetrap!
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