821. Karaoke night

821karaoke

Lottie loved karaoke night. The local club organised one night a month as a fund-raising venture. Lottie’s contribution was by far the most popular. In fact, even those dyed-in-the-wool smokers put aside their puffing in the outside porch to step inside and listen.

Blue Suede Shoes was Lottie’s tour de force. Made most famous by Elvis of course. Lottie would swing her hips as she sang, as if she was The King herself.

Well, it’s one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
Now go, cat, go
But don’t you
Step on my blue suede shoes
You can do anything
But stay off of my blue suede shoes.

How the audience would cheer! More ! More! And Lottie would break into Wooden Heart:

Please don’t break my heart in two
That’s not hard to do
Cause I don’t have a wooden heart.

You should make a recording, people would say. And to be honest, Lottie had thought about it… More ! More!

Lottie’s contribution was popular because she was so bad at it. She couldn’t sing. She couldn’t dance. It was hilarious. People were in stitches. She got away with it because she was a born comedian. Her performances were perfection. And boy, did it rake in the money!

73 thoughts on “821. Karaoke night

  1. Cynthia Jobin

    We used to split a gut listening to Mrs. Miller in the 60’s; her specialties were “Downtown,” and “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’.” I bet she retired comfortably. If you’ve got it, flaunt it!

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          1. thecontentedcrafter

            Oh yes, I do know it and just wasn’t thinking it was a real song you were suggesting. Given that I am incapable of singing a nursery rhyme in tune this suggestion would drive my poor neighbours away in droves – for while in my head I can do a superb job, in reality it would be horribly like your heroine!

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  2. Cynthia Jobin

    If you’ve ever watched the British sitcom “Keeping Up Appearances”, the character Hyacinth Bucket (excuse me, Hyacinth Bouquet) sings like Mrs. Miller. The man next door, who is a musician, is always hiding from her because, as he says, “she’ll sing at me!”

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          1. Cynthia Jobin

            She also had a brother-in-law named Bruce who was ..er….problematic…he was married to her sister Violet, (whom we knew only through phone calls)…you know, the one who owned a Mercedes and whose place had room for a pony…?

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            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              The slobby bro-in-law (not the Bruce) used to be a character in a British soap called “Coronation Street”. He was hilarious! He once sold a paint-by-numbers picture whose paint had run as an expensive piece of modern art.

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  3. Nitin

    Lottie taking her work seriously saddens me. A person can sometimes be so consumed by delusion that they’re unable to see things from any other vantage point. I’ve been in that dark place myself, back when I was this naive kid who thought he’d definitely make the football team!

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      1. Nitin

        Failure definitely haunts me, but I think the belief that I may be good at something I actually suck at haunts me more. It’s a dangerous place to be in. You could spend your life fantasizing, and waste precious moments that you could have used to love, to learn and to grow.

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          1. Nitin

            Thank you so much. It means a lot coming from you. Ha ha. I would love to explore other themes and write more imaginative stuff, but I’m a lonely twenty seven year old who spends his free time listening to grunge! Maybe I should listen to more jazz!

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                  1. Nitin

                    Ha ha. I’ve listened to Gymnopédie. I first heard it when I was playing this video game.It was a modern version of it, with drum beats and stuff. I should definitely explore his work more.

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      1. Sylvie G

        I spent a week in Australia, many years ago, (escaping winter in NZ), ended up on the sunshine coast, freezing. There was that weird complex nearby, where I would go to get warm. Some people were dancing, some people were karaoking, this is when I got hooked. Karaoke is the new tragedy. I loved it !

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  4. arlingwoman

    Wow, we’ve had the full range of singing. I could only do about 10 seconds of that opera singer and Mrs. Miller (who’s new to me) reminded me of a dog getting up a slow howl. The other two were indeed good, but I’m always put off at the point of the love’s little snow white feet. Don’t do it, Pauline!!! No good can come of it!

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