820. Bluebeard


When Bluebeard married for the last time, he gave his bride a set of keys and then he left the castle on some important mission.

“In my absence use the keys to go into any and every room of the castle,” said Bluebeard. “Enjoy every treasure the castle has to offer. But do not use the key that opens the lowest cellar door.”

Of course, Bluebeard’s wife couldn’t resist. She used the forbidden key. She entered the forbidden room. There was nothing there. It was empty.

Bluebeard suddenly appeared.

“Thank goodness!” he said. “I’m so glad you’re not a goody-two-shoes, but can think for yourself.”

Bluebeard and Blossom, for that was her name, lived happily for many, many years. In fact, one could almost say that Blossom wore the trousers. For starters, she made her husband shave off his cobalt beard.

40 thoughts on “820. Bluebeard

  1. arlingwoman

    I bet he still had a five o’clock shadow…This recalls to me the story of the Maid on the Shore, who was kidnapped by sailors for their captain. She sung them to sleep, stole their silver and gold, took the captain’s broadsword for an oar and paddled back to shore. Nice ending for the maid, as in this one.

  2. Cynthia Jobin

    Whereas you usually relish dead bodies in your stories, this time you took all the dead bodies out, for a very au courant version of that hairy fairytale! Obviously the “obey” part of the wedding vows must have been eschewed by both Blossom and Bluebeard as it is today . I remember, as a child, wondering how his beard got to be blue…..I figured it was white and he put a blue rinse in it, as all the little old blue-haired ladies like my grandmother did in those days.

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      I think a beard dyed (not with just a rinse) but bright (sort of like Pauline’s hair but blue) could look quite fearfully stunning. And it’s good to toss the dead bodies out occasionally. There’s only a certain amount of room.

        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          That’s a good question! Lots and lots! I once wrote a strange little play called “Zachustra” in which the final lines are: “There was a tree in the Garden of Eden whose fruit, if devoured, gave knowledge of good and evil. (That’s the tree that caused the fall of humanity) and it was cursed to grow from then only in Hell. But it never bears fruit now. For whenever the time of ripeness comes, it cuts itself down, so shamed it was. So shamed it once was for bearing fruit.”

          1. Cynthia Jobin

            I have read “Zachustra.” I couldn’t access the music but I did wonder if this was meant for children or adults. It reminds me of so much that was happening in theatre in the second half of the twentieth century. I was involved with community theatre then, also writing and directing for a theatre group at a small women’s college that couldn’t afford a “real” theatre program. As a technical project, I think “Zachustra” would be a lot of fun, with lighting doing most of the work of set design, and lots of creativef room for individual as well as group costuming, As a poet/person, I find the play both mysterious and heartbreaking.

            1. Bruce Goodman Post author

              I think it could probably be done by both children or adults – although maybe the children’s parents might find it difficult! It was performed by the Christchurch Shakespeare Trust who pulled all the stops out for the props etc. It was a visual feast! I wrote the play after a string of attacks on my plays by a Christchurch newspaper reviewer – Barry Grant, who also wrote plays and got a bad review for one of his plays from the opposition Christchurch newspaper. I got a glowing review from the opposition paper and he never recovered; always giving me a vitriolic review which ended up being depressing… 😦

  3. Andrea Stephenson

    Hurray, I like this re-telling of the tale – go Nobeard, go Blossom!
    I literally just finished reading A Passing Shower – started it yesterday and read it in each spare moment – loved it Bruce. You have such engaging characters, your trademark humour but also many touching moments and some gems of wisdom. The last few chapters brought tears to my eyes. But where is it publicised on your blog – I only found out about it through some of the comments. Brag about it!!!

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      Thank you, Andrea! Thank you! All these talented people reading my novel and commenting positively! Its such a thrill and a wonderful motivation. To be honest, I have neither the knowledge nor wherewithal to promote it. And I’m never enamoured by too much self-promotion… The novel can be read here if anyone is looking for it!

      1. Andrea Stephenson

        You could mention it with a link on your about page or on your sidebar – or create another page with a link to it – then people will know about it but you don’t have to feel like you’re self-promoting too much 🙂


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