Teacher: Ct cs nkw scxtnnn kr snvnntnnn ynfrs scncn C sfw thn qnnnn kfrfncn. Fnd snrnly nnvnr lcghtnd kn thcs krb, whccyh shn hfrdly snnmnd tk tknch. F mkrn dnlcghtfnl vcsckn. C fcrst sfw hnr jnst fbkvn thn hkzczkn dnckrftcng fnd chnnrcng thn nlnvftnd sphnrn shn hfd jnst bngnn tk mkvn cn. Glcttnrcng lckn thn mkrncng stfr, fnll kf lcfn fnd splnndknr fnd jky. Bnt kh whft f rnvklntckn.
Student: Excuse me sir, but could you speak a little slower please?
Teacher: What?
Hello. My name is Annette. My neighbour, who is a student at university like me, always makes me feel awkward with his crazy inventions, and this time was no exception. You see, I never knew what the jolly things were. I’d have to cluck away and sigh in admiration, and now I was looking at some contraption that had moving parts and he was over the moon with it.
I knew if I ask what it was he’d get offended, but this time the “invention” was so out of the box that I said “And how does it work?”
Well he went on a bit about aerodynamics and algebraic quartiles and everything else that I didn’t have a clue about, and in the end I was none the wiser. So I resumed my clucking and sighing and he seemed pleased enough.
And then he asked if I would like to go to the movies tonight. Of course I said “Yes!” It was the reason I had popped over to his house in the first place.
Let’s face it: Melvyn was dumb. Even his teacher, who tried her best to be nice, thought he was dumb. “Your child is dumb,” she said to Melvyn’s parents. “Really, really dumb.” It made no difference, because Melvyn took after his parents. They were dumb too.
His teacher would spend half an hour explaining to her students why grass was green, and at the end of all this Melvyn would put up his hand and ask, “Miss, why is grass green?” Not just dumb, but aggravating. Away with the fairies.
His exercise books were incomprehensible. They were a mess of doodles and numbers. Call that arithmetic? Goodness gracious! The sooner this child left school and got a job clearing the city’s sewerage system the better.
Then one day, Melvyn put up his hand and asked the teacher, “What happens if, when you loop one quantum particle around another, you don’t get back to the same quantum state?”
The teacher told Melvyn to get back to doing his work.
Let’s face it: the teacher was dumb. Even Melvyn, who tried his best to be nice, thought she was dumb. “My teacher is dumb,” Melvyn said to his parents. “Really, really dumb.”
And indeed she was – in more ways than one.
Derek hadn’t studied a thing all year. He was intelligent and talented, but school bored him. It was unchallenging.
The time came for his English exam. The whole country, at his level, was sitting the same paper.
Write about a short story you studied, and say why you liked it.
The short story I studied, wrote Derek, was by Marina Clotworthy. It was called “When the bells ring”. It was about…
Write about a novel you have studied, and describe your favourite character.
Ruth Burgess was my favourite character in Shirley Hattaway’s novel “Too Too Far”. She…
Discuss a poetic form and illustrate it with examples from a poem you have studied.
“O Bridge of Desolation” by Herman Fox is an Ode to the victims of…
Derek scored the highest marks in the country that year. In fact, he got a scholarship.
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Weave a Web 