2663. Final exam

It had been a long four years for Eldridge. He wasn’t the brightest star in the sky but he worked hard at his studies. He wasn’t thick either. He was of average intelligence pursuing a fairly challenging cytological degree specializing in chromatids of metaphase chromosomes.

His final exam was coming up. Eldridge studied like there was no tomorrow. A science laboratory in his very city was after a young, enthusiastic technician specializing in chromatids of metaphase chromosomes. Eldridge applied and got the job provided he passed his final exam. Such a promise made Eldridge study even harder.

Well as luck would have it Eldridge passed his final exam with flying colours! Unfortunately the laboratory had moved to China. Three years later Eldridge was still stacking shelves in a supermarket.

2301. The study of Earthlings

Earthlings are so tasteless. I don’t mean we eat them; I mean they don’t have much judgement when it comes to being classy. No taste. Four of us landed on Planet Earth several months ago and we have merged into the crowd while we observe Earthling behaviour.

The first thing I dislike very much is having to wear big plastic earrings with numbers on them. Mine are blue. Some others wear yellow. There doesn’t seem to be much variety in colour, not to mention variation in design. Of course we wear the horrible things to “merge in” but just how tasteless can one get?

Secondly, these Earthlings are extremely lazy. They have these two-legged servants – slaves I would call them – who do all the work. They feed the Earthlings, they milk the Earthlings, they move the Earthlings into different fields so that they have a change of view. The Earthlings do nothing for themselves. It is all done by their two-legged slaves.

The third most noticeable thing is that they have a pretty limited vocabulary. They seem to make the same word have different meanings according to the context and the intonation. I suppose it could best be described as “Blluhhhh”, although Astrzinia from our group reckons it sounds more like “Moooo”. Whatever.

Thankfully our time studying the Earthlings is drawing to a close and I’ll be able to take off these ridiculous earrings. I look forward to being able to have a decent conversation once again. And as for those two-legged servants – goodness gracious! They’re more of a nuisance than anything else. Astrzinia is taking a couple of the two-legged servants back home with her to put in the local zoo.

1935. Serial killer research

Rose Engelbrecht was researching for her doctorate. She had the craziest doctoral topic: what motivated a serial killer? Did these murderers have anything in common, not just in the tools used or the methods, but in the motivation? It might sound a fairly blood-thirsty interest to have, but Rose’s psychiatric tutor and mentor thought that if a common thread was discovered it could help in the identification of possible future serial killers.

Of course Rose couldn’t study every serial killer since the beginning of the world. She limited her research to sixteen. There was the one known as the Chimney Butcher for example. He (for it was a he) always left a lighted cigarette burning on the victim. It was the rising smoke that gave rise to the designation. Another one was known as Madam Stiletto. It wasn’t known for certain but it was thought these murders were the work of a woman. The victim had always been stabbed in the heart with what seemed like a sharp stiletto heel. Nothing was absolutely certain about the stiletto, but on one victim a fragment of a red stiletto had remained inside the heart. Madam Stiletto had been the most elusive of all the serial killers Rose studied, and Madam Stiletto was very much still alive and active.

Rose pondered and studied; studied and pondered. She could discover no common motivation. There were weapons and dark alleys in common between some of them, but motivation was an elusive quality. What would drive a serial killer to go out and kill? Rose had spent weeks, months even, pondering. It was now ten in the evening. Her doctoral dissertation was meant to be in three weeks. Rose looked out the window. She was getting desperate. There was a full moon. What drove a murderer? What? What?

Rose donned her regular hoodie, slipped into her red stilettos, and left the building.

1227. Party party party

Estelle had worked hard all year. It was her last year at university studying for a degree in Biochemistry. All the other students in her year seemed to manage to get all the work done AND party, party, party. But not Estelle. She plodded on day after day. It’s not that she didn’t enjoy Biochemistry. She did, and she got good grades for her assignments and labs. But the others seemed to do that too, AND party.

So when the last lecture was over, and the last assignment handed up and returned, and the last examination finished, all the other students went downtown somewhere to party, party, party. Estelle was invited but she didn’t really know them that well.

Instead she went on her own and bought herself the biggest strawberry milkshake the shop had. And a blueberry muffin.

876. English examination

Derek hadn’t studied a thing all year. He was intelligent and talented, but school bored him. It was unchallenging.

The time came for his English exam. The whole country, at his level, was sitting the same paper.

Write about a short story you studied, and say why you liked it.

The short story I studied, wrote Derek, was by Marina Clotworthy. It was called “When the bells ring”. It was about…

Write about a novel you have studied, and describe your favourite character.

Ruth Burgess was my favourite character in Shirley Hattaway’s novel “Too Too Far”. She…

Discuss a poetic form and illustrate it with examples from a poem you have studied.

“O Bridge of Desolation” by Herman Fox is an Ode to the victims of…

Derek scored the highest marks in the country that year. In fact, he got a scholarship.

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