1905. Norton’s apparently useless invention

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Norton thought that his invention would be as popular as billy-O. It wasn’t popular at all. In fact it sucked.

“This invention sucks,” said Gerald the Gadget Man on his television gadget show. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen an invention as useless as this. It’s a special garden stake for holding up the parsley plants.”

“Parsley doesn’t require staking,” said Nora on the Gardeners’ Breakfast Show. “This is the biggest waste of time and money that I’ve ever come across.”

“This is the most bizarre invention in years,” said Arnold on the Goodbye to the Morning Lunchtime Special. “At least it has given us all a good laugh.”

“I got given one last Christmas,” said Angela on the late-afternoon-between-reality-shows slot. “It comes in handy, especially if I want to prop a door open on a breezy day. A parsley stake! Ha ha ha! Now that’s funny.”

Only Jonathan had anything nice to say about Norton’s invention. “I think it’s excellent,” he said. “And it’s not a parsley garden stake. It’s a Dancalonator.”

Oh! What an embarrassment! Suddenly everyone felt quite silly.

37 thoughts on “1905. Norton’s apparently useless invention”

  2. James

    As soon as I read ‘parsley stake’ I knew it must be a Dancalonator. I would have expected Gerald to make that sort of a mistake but I must say that I’m disappointed in Angela.

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    1. Bruce Post author

      I’m surprised everyone’s got a couple in their gadget drawer. My dancalonator is huge. Are you sure you’re not thinking of a can opener/ They are almost spelled the same.

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          1. Bruce Post author

            Ha! I suspect its one of those name plates that are available for herb gardens, but it reads like it’s to hold the plant up in a stiff breeze. That was an excellent list yesterday – as I commented!

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      1. umashankar

        Just to set the record straight, J K Rowling says,
        “Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can’t see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself — soul-less and evil. You’ll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.”

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