There was one thing that Fabian wasn’t particularly fond of – in fact he hated it – and that was loose elastic in his pants. He would have to hold his pants up with one hand and do everything else with the other.
And then he died.
His silly wife, Caroline Myrtle, had him buried wearing those pants with the damn loose elastic.
There he is now! That one over there, playing beatific golf with one free arm, and holding his pants up with the free hand. Forever.
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
You’re on a roll, Bruce!
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LOL! I just wrote my last story – number 1066! But there are still just under a hundred in between still to write!
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Hey…if you write ten stories a day, you could be all done by the week after next!
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Don’t I know it! I have written 3 today but have to go off now and get my flu injection…
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They wear pants in heaven?
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If he has to hold them up all the time then he’s clearly in hell.
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They play golf in heaven?
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He’s in hell – golf is compulsory for those who hate it!
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Between you and me, Pauline, Bruce has his heavens and hells mixed up. We know that “beatific” always did refer to heaven, but maybe he thinks it describes some sort of hellish, eternal beauty parlor where one is judged by the elastic on one’s pants and is forced to play golf……
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I can think of little more unseemly than people playing golf with no clothes on!
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I wonder if they play golf in nudist colonies…
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Oh! NOW the mind Boggles!!
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I imagine having to hold your pants up all the time is pretty hellish too …..
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I hate it!!
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Get suspenders….or do you call them braces?
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Braces! Suspenders are those things women wore to keep their stockings up!
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Nay..nay….one keeps one’s stockings up with garters, and/or a garter belt…..
(In the US, braces are a particular type of suspenders…the kind that have leather ends with buttonholes that button onto the trousers)
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OK – that’s interesting. Garters were the elastic bands (usually boys had them – we certainly had to have them at high school ) to keep the socks up to just below knee level. (Boys/teens nearly always wore shorts to school). I never knew that was the word for the leather button-hole thingy. Brides wore a garter (on one leg I think) to their wedding??? Help! I’m not an expert at these things, although I do know that “suspenders” is creeping in in NZ for braces!
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Thank goodness for the introduction of tights and panty hose to rid us of some of the horrible hardware of female nether garments.
The bride’s garter at weddings is just a silly tradition…..at the reception the groom removes it “ceremoniously” and tosses it out to the men folk so someone can catch it…much like the bride tossing her bouquet to the ladies….
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I think we should return to whalebone bodices… As for tossing… well!
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Whalebone bodices? We?
For fellows like Fabian, there are always the grown-up “onesies” : long johns, overalls…. and, in fabric, color, and style, think of all the possible fashion statements to be made with the basic jumpsuit!
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Overalls would seem to be an excellent solution.
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In Heaven as it is on Earth …
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Forgive Yvonne her trespasses…
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Hallelujah, Brother
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Ummm…dude needed to take those trousers to a seamstress. He deserves to be holding them up in eternity for his inability to get a tailor, a belt, or suspenders…
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All seamstresses, tailors, and shopkeepers were thrown into the other place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth!
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Never owned such a pair. Never will. I have other things to do with both my hands.
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!!!!! 🙂
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Once (or if) rotundity becomes a feature, then keeping ones trousers up becomes a challenge!
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Perhaps such a day will come. Perhaps. 😉
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Eat more fat!
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That is one cheerful piece! We all know how to exorcise the golf course off the one-handed potter however.
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Ouch! I meant putter. (I was holding my pant with one hand while I wrote…)
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As long as you weren’t holding your punts!
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Ha, ha!
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Caroline’s revenge for making her a golf widow?
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At a stretch – as we say in elastic circles…
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🙂 Guess it’s time to get the sewing kit out…
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… and the reading glasses to thread the thing!
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LOL Seems like Myrtle didn’t want hubby do something silly just to be happy..
(PS: But really, has she remarried yet?)
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She probably remarried almost instantly!
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What a belter.
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