Hi! Is that you, Kay? I thought I’d got the answer phone. It’s Nigel here.
Look, just because we run a raspberry farm doesn’t mean to say we give handouts. We might be neighbours but it’s our livelihood. There’s no sense in phoning up for free raspberries, because you’re not going to get any.
No, I was actually phoning up to ask…
It’s the same for everybody. They all want a free basket of raspberries because they think we’ve got so many plants. But we have to pick them and take them to market like every other raspberry berry farmer in the country. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
I was just phoning to ask if you wanted any tomatoes. We’ve got that many tomatoes this year that we don’t know what to do with them.
Of course we want some tomatoes. But if you think you’re going to get some raspberries in exchange for tomatoes you’ll have to think again. We’re not running a charitable organization. The raspberry season is not that long, and we have to make ends meet for the rest of the year. Plus there are sprays. And we have to pay the seasonal raspberry pickers. So no, we can’t spare any raspberries I’m afraid.
Ok. I’ll drop some tomatoes off later today.
That’ll be good. But don’t come around expecting raspberries.
To listen to the story being read click HERE!
I think your lead is suffering from Raspberry Blindness, it happens you know…
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I know – it can certainly get berry berry serious.
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Ha! 🙂
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Loved the story and the ‘Raspberry Blindness’ comment above 🙂 . I won’t be posting any more of my own work on WordPress until mid-April but I’ll be reblogging an old story of yours on April Fools day. See you soon.
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Thanks Laine – and enjoy your time out!
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Thanks, Bruce. I need more time to complete other projects (and a breather to write free from the feeling of deadlines). I was beginning to lose the joy of writing.
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Know the feeling!
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You do such a nice job of telling a story with dialogue.
If I were Nigel I’d tell Kay: Why don’t you put yer raspberries where the sun don’t shine!
Then I would sing to her: Yes, we have no tomatoes…we have no tomatoes today…
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But if there are no tomatoes, what is there left to throw at politicians?
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True. At a political rally, tomatoes definitely trump raspberries.
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That’s Hillaryious!
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Great, you Cynthia managed to work politics into your comments. Raspberries to you!
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I seem to remember you dragging Julia Gillard into the conversation last Friday!!
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Moi? Friday is too long ago, that has been expunged from my memory. Ill take your word for it, Bruce Almighty/Saint Bruce.
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Eek! My apologies – it wasn’t you who made the comment, it was Shubha Athavale. If I wasn’t so great and almighty I might apologies sincerely!
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I thought I’d had one of those infamous brain farts, so I had to go back and see what I’d said. Most graciously, I didn’t bring your glaring error to your attention. You could learn a lot from me …
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An infamous brain breaking wind would I imagine draw attention to yourself…
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Boy, that guy can’t see for free wheeling family members. He probably makes a good case though. 😀 😀 😀 Assertive guy!
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(Maybe he had poisoned the tomatoes!!)
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Apropos of absolutely nothing, I have to confess that every time I see your screen name, I have to say it out loud, with the emphasis on CUT, and then on CRAP. Every darn time! :-0
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Human interaction and perspectives – aah, you gotta love it! 😅
Nicely done, Bruce.
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Thank you Rob. It is the tomato season here in New Zealand, and I do have quite a few to spare. I’d only be too glad to get rid of some!
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So long as you don’t expect any South African raspberries! 😠😊
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Well… if you’re going to be selfish it’s a rotten tomato for you…
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Careful – I’m not unknown to blow a raspberry you know!
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I knew someone would eventually bring that up!!
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Had to come, hey! Especially as I run out of repartee! 😁
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Very clear !
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I don’t know how many times I have to say it… NO RASPBERRIES!
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Sooner or later one rather hopes Kay might hear herself. Sooner would be particularly good.
Nigel, on the other hand, appears to be a saint…………… Very clear characterisation Bruce 🙂
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Thank you, Pauline. My neighbour is called Kay, but they have a blackberry farm – so no resemblance obviously!
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And do you perchance happen to grow tomatoes?
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I have 70 tomato plants! Do you want some?
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Saint Bruce, I rest my case 🙂
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Yvonne already calls him Bruce Almighty, Pauline…isn’t this getting to be a bit much?
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WE WHO ARE HUMBLE can graciously receive praise.
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[raspberry]
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!!
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🙂
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🙂
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Thank you, Pauline. I can see it now: Saint Bruce, Virgin and Martyr.
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Snicker.
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😀
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Oh boy, this is one of those hopeless, hopeless situations. I think I might can gallons of tomato sauce before that woman would see any of my tomatoes. Of course there’s always the hope that Nigel’s generosity might calm her down a bit.
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How many gallons of tomato sauce does one need? I have 6 large bottles; a shelf of pickles and chutneys; 9 Tupperware containers with tomato paste; two drawers in the freezer packed with frozen tomatoes; and the plants won’t stop producing!
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Okay, maybe she can have some tomatoes, but what a pill.
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Actually the real Kay next door (who grows blackberries) is lovely!
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Ah, well, the story isn’t about her…You could trade blackberry jam for tomato sauce!
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She’s already given me bottles of blackberry vinegar! And I have frozen 9 containers of blackberries for later!
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Yum!!
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Raspberry fields forever… 😉
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Living is easy with eyes closed…
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Never mess with the experience of a raspberry farmer. Don’t you toss tomatoes on him, either!
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It’ll have to be rotten apples then…
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A message for Kay – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwaEPTSRcSw
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That’s cloak and dagger stuff…!
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But sometimes it’s necessary to cut to the chase
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😀
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Nice morning story – interesting photo too
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Thank you!
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Well, blow me, I’d say that phone conversation was full of raspberries
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😀 Thank you, Derrick! I always find “raspberry” an interesting sort of word – I think it’s the letter “p”. It doesn’t seem to belong there!
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