887. Raspberries


Hi! Is that you, Kay? I thought I’d got the answer phone. It’s Nigel here.

Look, just because we run a raspberry farm doesn’t mean to say we give handouts. We might be neighbours but it’s our livelihood. There’s no sense in phoning up for free raspberries, because you’re not going to get any.

No, I was actually phoning up to ask…

It’s the same for everybody. They all want a free basket of raspberries because they think we’ve got so many plants. But we have to pick them and take them to market like every other raspberry berry farmer in the country. Money doesn’t grow on trees.

I was just phoning to ask if you wanted any tomatoes. We’ve got that many tomatoes this year that we don’t know what to do with them.

Of course we want some tomatoes. But if you think you’re going to get some raspberries in exchange for tomatoes you’ll have to think again. We’re not running a charitable organization. The raspberry season is not that long, and we have to make ends meet for the rest of the year. Plus there are sprays. And we have to pay the seasonal raspberry pickers. So no, we can’t spare any raspberries I’m afraid.

Ok. I’ll drop some tomatoes off later today.

That’ll be good. But don’t come around expecting raspberries.

62 thoughts on “887. Raspberries

  1. Laine Anne Jensen

    Loved the story and the ‘Raspberry Blindness’ comment above 🙂 . I won’t be posting any more of my own work on WordPress until mid-April but I’ll be reblogging an old story of yours on April Fools day. See you soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Cynthia Jobin

    You do such a nice job of telling a story with dialogue.
    If I were Nigel I’d tell Kay: Why don’t you put yer raspberries where the sun don’t shine!
    Then I would sing to her: Yes, we have no tomatoes…we have no tomatoes today…

    Liked by 2 people

                  1. Yvonne

                    I thought I’d had one of those infamous brain farts, so I had to go back and see what I’d said. Most graciously, I didn’t bring your glaring error to your attention. You could learn a lot from me …

                    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yvonne

      Apropos of absolutely nothing, I have to confess that every time I see your screen name, I have to say it out loud, with the emphasis on CUT, and then on CRAP. Every darn time! :-0

      Liked by 1 person

  3. arlingwoman

    Oh boy, this is one of those hopeless, hopeless situations. I think I might can gallons of tomato sauce before that woman would see any of my tomatoes. Of course there’s always the hope that Nigel’s generosity might calm her down a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      How many gallons of tomato sauce does one need? I have 6 large bottles; a shelf of pickles and chutneys; 9 Tupperware containers with tomato paste; two drawers in the freezer packed with frozen tomatoes; and the plants won’t stop producing!



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