Tag Archives: cookie

1604. Nanette’s double cockup

(I think I’m coming down with the flu or something – Southern Hemisphere winter! – so will be absent from the comments for a day or two…)

I mean, who would have thought? Nanette had made almond cookies a thousand times. She no longer needed the recipe. She could have made almond cookies with her eyes shut.

So this time (she could hardly believe it) she had omitted the flour. How could something like that happen? When she had rolled the cake mix into little balls in preparation for cooking, she thought it was strange. There seemed to be a lot less potential cookies than normal. Not to worry. A cookie is a cookie, be it twenty or ten in the cookie jar.

Nanette was catering for visitors, which is why she was baking. And they were important visitors; at least to Nanette they were important. Having so few cookies was a bit of a worry. She would whisk up a second batch, only this time she would use vanilla essence rather than almond. Besides, variety was the spice of life. Her visitors would be impressed that she provided almond AND vanilla cookies.

The dark liquid in a Worcestershire sauce bottle doesn’t greatly look like vanilla essence. Even the size of the bottles is gigantically different. But Nanette was in a hurry. She was running late. Both bottles were brown. She grabbed the Worcestershire sauce bottle and measured out a teaspoon.

Both lots of baked cookies looked delightful, especially once they were arranged on a rather ornate cake dish with a pattern of tomtits and roses. It was only then that Nanette realized both mistakes; the flour and the Worcestershire sauce.

Not to worry. Her guests arrived and there was little to fear; the table looked delightful, and the Queen of England never nibbled in public, especially when it came to finger food.

1026. Coffee mugs

1026mugs

An optimistic saga with three alternative tragic endings to choose from

Fred had a nice set of coffee mugs – all with sort of old-fashioned adverts on them. There were twenty-one mugs in all. He loved them. He kept them on a shelf in the dining room, just high enough to reach with a stretch. His wife hated them.

• One day, as he was standing under the shelf an earthquake struck. A mug fell off, hit him on the head, and killed him.

• One day, as he was in the dining room his distraught wife threw a mug at him, hit him on the head, and killed him.

• One day, Fred came home and had a nice cup of coffee and a cookie. Nothing could be more relaxing. Unfortunately he choked to death on the cookie.