Poem 18b: Four relatively famous shadormas

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18ashadorma

(A note of explanation: I had/have decided to post a poem on the first of each month written in a particular poetic form. Any poem after that first posting throughout that month will use that form. For the earlier months of this year, the forms were chosen at random. For February it is the shadorma. The shadorma is an invented poetic form that does not work in English. Everything in English has “syllables” and simply to divide a “poem” into a set number of syllables per line is a nonsense.

My contribution to this ridiculous form is to point out that the syllabic pattern was widely used even before the idiot who invented it invented it. The form is 3/5/3/3/7/5 per stanza. Look who used it! WOW! I publish these four poems to highlight the sheer nonsense of the form. I won’t post any more poems this month as I think the selected form is a load of crapulent garbage. Life is always a learning curve.)

By Jesus

Our Father,
Which art in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy Name. Thy
Kingdom come Thy will be done
On earth as it is

In heaven.

By Abraham Lincoln

Four score and
seven years ago
our fathers
brought forth, u-
pon this continent, a new
nation, conceived in

liberty,
and dedicated
to the pro-
position
that “all men are created
equal.” – – –

As used by Marie Curie

One two three
Four five six seven
Eight nine ten
Eleven
Twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen
Sixteen seventeen

As used by Jane Austen

A B C
D E F G H
I J K
L M N
O P Q R S T U
V W X

YZ.

25 thoughts on “Poem 18b: Four relatively famous shadormas”

  1. thecontentedcrafter

    So, anything can be made into a ‘shadorma’ ? I was thinking your critique was a bit harsh with such illuminous luminaries having used it previously and not an ounce of Spanish blood in a one of them! 🙂 I recall quite admiring your first shadorma though …………..

    Liked by 2 people

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  2. Cynthia Jobin

    Already
    you know what I think
    of this form
    but I love
    the élan vital you have
    brought to the process:

    it’s simply
    brilliant, creative,
    droll, and so
    witty I’m
    laughing so hard that the tears
    do run down my legs!

    Liked by 3 people

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  10. MPHIX

    I’d never heard of a Shadorma until now, despite being both a poet and Spanish. I’m now wishing I hadn’t however, as I completely understand your sentiments. That being said, I do enjoy your weaving of words, Bruce, they make me smile and that’s always a good thing.
    The ‘sh’ sound doesn’t exist in Castilian Spanish, so I’m left wondering what the original name was and its linguistic origin, as it makes absolutely no sense to me. Sounds more like Hebrew.

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    1. Bruce Goodman Post author

      “They” think it’s a made up word – and is not even Spanish but a word (and poetic form) devised by a cynic who was sick and tired of “everyone” writing Haiku in English when a haiku is a Japanese form that doesn’t well translate (transfer over)!

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      1. MPHIX

        Ah! That untangles that knot. Thank you, Bruce.
        Haiku is an interesting form, but as you say one that doesn’t translate at all well into English. There are several standard variants, aren’t there?
        I’ve had one too many snippy arguments with fellow writers who thought fit to correct my usage of syllables in my own Haikus. However, as long as you express the basic intent, then I think anything goes.
        I had one friend with whom I would only communicate in Haiku for a time. That was an interesting and often hilarious challenge!
        English has to be one of my favourite languages for poetry however, due to its huge vocabulary and nuances of meaning. It really is a one-of-a-kind language. Castilian Spanish would be a close second for me.

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        1. Bruce Goodman Post author

          I don’t know any Spanish at all! 😦 Nor any other non-English language. Although my partner speaks and writes nine languages fluently. Number of syllables per line add nothing to a poem in English as it’s a metrical-foot language not a syllabic one! I agree with you on the haiku – it’s the capturing of “the basic intent” that matters and not the number of syllables.

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          1. MPHIX

            Wowzers! Nine? That’s impressive. I speak and write 5.5, if you count the smattering of Hebrew I was taught on a Kibbutz years ago. 🙂
            Poetry is an interesting thing in English, it’s very symphonic and colourful, I think, and equally difficult to translate well into other languages.

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