1480. Pillow case

Contessa was a tiny worm, undetectable, that lived inside the pillow on Nerissa’s bed. Every night, Contessa would wiggle her way out through a little hole in the corner of Nerissa pillow, crawl into Nerissa’s ear, and enter her brain. Once in the brain, Contessa would rearrange all the new information that Nerissa had gathered during the previous day.

This was a necessary thing for Contessa to do, because Nerissa was forever planning to air the pillow in the sunshine the next day. Nothing would kill a worm off quicker than warm sunlight. Hence, for Contessa, deleting data related to the airing of the pillow was paramount. It was self-preservation.

Over the years, Contessa grew longer. Now, when she entered Nerissa’s brain, Contessa’s tail hung several inches out of Nerissa’s ear. These days, there seemed so much more information in Nerissa’s brain to process. Some nights, Contessa never finished sorting and deleting. And then the inevitable happened…

In her sleep, Nerissa scratched her ear, and in doing so, Contessa split in half. For a while the dislocated bottom half wiggled away, but Contessa’s top half panicked and scrambled back to the safety of the pillow.

Because the job of sorting was unfinished, Nerissa remembered the next day to air the pillow. Contessa’s top half died in the warmth of the sun.

It didn’t matter though, for Contessa’s bottom half was safely hiding in Nerissa’s other pillow. Her life’s work would begin the following night.

1462. Wiggles

There was one thing Ferdinand disliked immensely and that was to have to powder his wig every morning and put it on. (He lived in the seventeenth century). The whole wig thing took a substantial chunk out of his daily morning programme. It was far easier simply to sleep with his wig still on and then pat it flat upon rising.

But then Ferdinand’s pate began to get itchy. His wife looked and there was a nest of nits in his hair having a wonderful time. And of course there were the inevitable family of earwigs setting up home in the wig itself.

Ferdinand was rather partial to that wig. It was like shoes; a wig had to be “broken in”. This wig fitted perfectly. Ferdinand gave the wig a good shake hoping to expel the bugs. It did not work.

Ferdinand’s wife, Maria Constanze Cäcilia Josepha Johanna Aloysia Fischer, bought him a brand new wig and gave it to Ferdinand for Christmas. He was most grateful, although for a start on alternate days he wore his old wig for the sake of comfort.

The nits and earwigs loved their new home.

1461. Sinus problem

Lavinia seemed forever to have a cold. Her nose was endlessly running. She’d use a box of tissues, or half a box at least, every day. She went to see a specialist.

The specialist suggested to Lavinia that she had an allergy. Did she have a cat? A dog? A pet cockatoo? Perhaps she should stop eating bread for a while and see what happens. Perhaps she was allergic to milk, or chocolate, or nuts. After tests, none of these were shown to be the cause of Lavinia’s runny nose.

The specialist did further tests. At last the allergy was discovered! Lavinia was allergic to dust created from dried cockroach poop. To be honest, Lavinia’s house was constantly invaded by cockroaches. Lavinia paid to have her home completely debugged and cleaned. It didn’t work. Lavinia still had a constant cold.

No one had noticed the cockroach that had crawled up and lodged itself deep in Lavinia’s sinuses.