Tag Archives: weather vane

1977. The way the wind blows

When Ingrid gave Harry a weather vane for his birthday he was more than pleased. He had always wanted one, and this was the perfect one to get. It was a metal cockerel whose beak turned to indicate the direction of the wind. Below the cockerel were four letters pointing to the directions of North, South, East, and West.

The corner of the roof of the garden shed was the ideal place for it. It could be seen both from the kitchen and the living room windows. Generally speaking, one should know what to wear when one ventured outside. Some wind directions were inclined to be cold; others warm.

The problem was Harry didn’t have a compass. He vaguely knew the direction of North. Having the N-pointer indicating that general direction would be good enough. The S-pointer for South was easy; it was opposite to the N-pointer! When it came to East and West Harry didn’t have any idea which was left and which was right. He imagined standing facing the North Pole with the N-pointer. He knew the capital city was on his right so the E-pointer went that way. The rest was simple; the W-pointer was opposite the East!

How fine it looked from the kitchen window. Ingrid would never be bored by the weather, and nor would he. There! The cockerel turned and was pointing south. So it was a southerly wind! Or should that be northerly? Did the cockerel’s beak in fact point to the direction in which the wind was coming or the direction in which the wind was going? The weather vane had come with no instructions. As for the nomenclature of wind – does a Nor-Wester mean that is the direction the wind is coming from or going to? Then some visiting know-all suggested that the East and West indicators were the wrong way around.

Anyway, it looks lovely from the house. It is an ornamentation; a visual enhancer. It’s been there for seven years now. It’s just that no one knows the way the wind blows.

587. All in vane

© Bruce Goodman 20 May 2015

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Algernon had this brilliant idea of putting a weather vane on the topmost gable of his three-story house. In fact, he’d been given a weather vane for Christmas and this was the perfect place for it.

Algernon’s wife was Metta. She longed for a divorce, and the weather vane gift was part of her plan.

“We won’t be able to see the direction of the wind without going outside and looking up. Put it on the roof of the garden shed. Then we can see it from the lounge.” Metta knew that he would disagree, and this statement by her was meant to reinforce Algernon’s determination to place the weather vane on the topmost gable of his three-story house.

Was Metta hoping he would fall perhaps, and break his neck so she could run off with lover Roland? We shall see.

Algernon got a huge ladder and climbed up one, two, three stories. He nailed the weather vane to the topmost gable. There! All he need do now was to set north to point north and south to south. He needed a compass.

He was about to climb down the ladder. Metta removed it. Algernon was stuck three stories up.

As Metta backed away balancing the huge ladder, she tripped on some boulders in the garden that had hitherto not been there. She fell backwards with the ladder on top of her.

Algernon climbed down the spare ladder he’d placed on the other side of the house. He phoned Roland.

“She’s all yours,” said Algernon as he drove off in his Mercedes.

Music 4: You’re so vane

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Sorry, but I’m in a bit of a silly mood! The tune is not original; I hope it’s old enough to be out of copyright. If not I’ll press the delete button.

The weather vane! It changes with the wind – this way and that.

Forever busy. Forever turning. Forever fascinating. Forever telling us what to wear.