Tag Archives: tv

2441. Put the pieces together

Ketty had always wanted to attempt a jigsaw; a big one with a thousand pieces. The trouble was that the only bench top big enough to work on was the dining table. It’s not as if Ketty could lay the jigsaw out repeatedly between meals.

Of course Seth, her husband, thought the jigsaw was a wonderful idea. He’d grab any chance he could to eat his meals in an armchair in front of the TV, but Ketty insisted they sit properly at the dining table at least for the evening meal.

That is why Seth gave Ketty a thousand piece jigsaw for her birthday. Ketty was delighted. They would eat their meals in front of the TV until the jigsaw was finished. The jigsaw was of a pretty bridge over a pretty stream banked with pretty flowers – and a couple of ducks.

A month had passed and there were still six pieces left on the table and nine spaces.

“There are pieces missing,” declared Ketty. “And the six remaining pieces don’t seem to belong to the jigsaw.”

“At least we get to eat in front of the tele until the jigsaw is finished,” Seth said. He looked amused and unsurprised.

Anyway, Ketty later cleared the jigsaw off the table. She needed the table space for refreshments and cups of coffee to serve the mourners after they had attended Seth’s funeral.

1574. Steffie’s fabulous oven

(Notes: A North Carolina dumpster is what we in New Zealand call a skip. I don’t know what the things are called anywhere else. The long-named oven is taken from a junk email I received. China was trying to sell me one!)

Butch Carson loved his meat. Every night he’d expect a roast dinner. None of this namby-pamby vegetarian nonsense that the wives of others foistered on their husbands. Steffie had learnt early in the marriage that roast beef was almost a minimum requirement. Not even chicken fitted the bill.

“Chicken is for sissies, just like vegies are for dorks.”

Honestly! If Steffie didn’t have a plasmon-induced-photoelectrochemical-biosensor-for-in-situ-real-time-measurement-of-biotin-streptavidin-binding-kinetics-under-visible-light-irradiation oven, then there was no way she could hold down a full-time job and raise six kids at the same time. The plasmon-induced-photoelectrochemical-biosensor-for-in-situ-real-time-measurement-of-biotin-streptavidin-binding-kinetics-under-visible-light-irradiation oven was a godsend. She had saved up for it over two years, secretly putting aside every week a few dollars from her meagre wages until she was able to go into a shop and say:

“Could I have one plasmon-induced-photoelectrochemical-biosensor-for-in-situ-real-time-measurement-of-biotin-streptavidin-binding-kinetics-under-visible-light-irradiation oven please.”

Butch wasn’t too happy about it. He reckoned the oven affected his television reception during the day when she had set the oven to slow cook the roast while she was at work. When the plumber came to fix the shower Butch got the plumber to throw the oven into the dumpster.

The next day, Steffie took the six kids and buggered off.