Tag Archives: transplants

Story 36: Muriel’s fabulous idea

This is the fourth day of seven days in which an earlier story is repeated. Today it is Story 36: “Muriel’s fabulous idea”. It was first posted on 15 November 2013.

My name is Muriel. I have a fabulous idea.

Here is my fabulous idea:

You know all those people in old people’s homes who have lost their memories? Alzheimer’s or something? They don’t know nothing. And they’re happy. Well, why not use their eyes for cornea transplants? They won’t know what would’ve happened to them. And that way they can be of some use to society instead of a burden.

And there must be other parts of them that can be used for transplants as well while they are still alive. I’m not medical. Like hand transplants or skin grafts. No hearts or livers and so on because that would kill them off. And what is the use of a dead donor that’s gone cold?

A fabulous idea, eh? Here it is:

You know all those people in old people’s homes who have lost their memories? Alzheimer’s or something? They don’t know nothing. And they’re happy. Well, why not use their eyes for cornea transplants? They won’t know what would’ve happened to them. And that way they can be of some use to society instead of a…

“Excuse me, Muriel,” said the surgeon. “Would you mind following me please to the operating table?“

1175. Waste not, want not

Norbert and Bertha decided, prior to their wedding day, that they would have as many children as possible.

“That way,” said Norbert, if one of the children gets killed and we need a hair transplant, for example, there’s a whole resource just lying there.”

“It’s like money in the bank,” said Bertha. “Who knows, as we grow older, whether we’ll need a kidney or a liver or even a heart and lungs transplant.”

“Not to mention the eyes,” added Norbert.

And so began their years of procreation. The first thirteen were fine. And then Bertha died giving birth to the fourteen and fifteenth. They were twins and Bertha suffered an amniotic fluid embolism.

As luck would have it, Norbert was able to use, with the right treatment, her remains to fertilize his lawn.