Tag Archives: swearing

2436.  Language

Now Errol, said the teacher, you shouldn’t be using naughty words like that. Who taught you such language?

My father, said Errol.

Well, said the teacher, you shouldn’t use a word like that if you don’t know what it means.

I do know what it means, said Errol. It means the car won’t start.

1755. The spice of life

Variety is the spice of life so I thought I’d do something I’ve never done before and interview a fellow blogger. He also works as a part-time actor in minor films in Hollywood. Thanks for volunteering to be interviewed, Dick.

My f!%#*&!!% pleasure. You’re f!%#*&!!% welcome.

So what made you start blogging?

It was my f!%#*&!!% wife at the f!%#*&!!% time f!%#*&!!% suggested it. She was doing the f!%#*&!!% dishes one f!%#*&!!% evening when she said “Why the f*!@ don’t you do a f!%#*&!!% blog and get out from under my f!%#*&!!% feet?”

I said “Why the f*!@ not? So here I f!%#*&!!% am!

And what made you decide to do a blog dedicated to the cultivation of sweet potatoes?

Well, f*!@ me, sweet potatoes are f!%#*&!!% cool. A lot of f!%#*&!!% people don’t realize just how sweet f!%#*&!!% sweet potatoes really f!%#*&!!% are. You can f!%#*&!!% stick a f!%#*&!!% sweet potato in the f!%#*&!!% embers of a f!%#*&!!% campfire and f*!@ me! if it’s not f!%#*&!!% cooked. That’s f!%#*&!!% extraordinary.

How did it feel to get over one million followers?

It felt f!%#*&!!% great. I sent my f!%#*&!!% wife at the f!%#*&!!% time out to get f!%#*&!!% take-away to f!%#*&!!% celebrate and when she f!%#*&!!% came home I discovered I had one million and f!%#*&!!% two f!%#*&!!% followers. It was f!%#*&!!% unbelievable.

Thanks, Dick, for that enlightening interview. Not a word wasted.

F*!@ yeah. I’m f!%#*&!!% going to f!%#*&!!% talk about it when I f!%#*&!!% get my f!%#*&!!% next f!%#*&!!% Oscar if the f!%#*&!!% powers that f!%#*&!!% be let me f!%#*&!!% squeeze a f!%#*&!!% word in.

1096. Danger of explosion

Herb had been sent home from school for swearing at a teacher. They’d phoned his father, and his father had said “What the … Where did he learn that from?” Herb started walking home. Then he noticed something he’d never seen before. There was a sign as he walked past the gas works:


Herb lit a cigarette and threw it over the fence. He carried on walking. That should teach the town a lesson.

Nothing happened.

Herb went back. That’s when it happened.