Tag Archives: Snow White

1714. The incomprehensibility of tragedy

When Goldilocks broke into the Three Bears’ House she had to prise open a window. It came as no surprise to her that after all these years they had at last begun to lock their front door.

The first thing she did upon entering was to eat the porridge. As always one was too hot, one too cold, and one just right. Then there were the chairs to sit upon, and the beds to try. All this was done and she fell asleep in the third bed as was usually the case.

When the Three Bears came home they went through the customary rigmarole of who’s been this? and who’s been that? And there she was lying in Baby Bear’s bed!

She was dead.

“The poison in the porridge work!” cried Baby Bear, jumping up and down excitedly. “Hurrah! Hurrah!”

So enamoured were they with the success of their poisonous porridge that they let it loose on any character in any book they could lay their hands on. They became crazed with success. They became serial killers. First it was Humpty-Dumpty; then Little Red Riding Hood. Then it was Jack and Jill, followed by Snow White, and Mary Mary Quite Contrary. Before you knew it, it was Heathcliff and Cathy Earnshaw, then Lorna Doone, and Jane Eyre. Hamlet was on the list, as was King Lear. And finally came Winnie the Pooh.

Oh what a mistake that was!

What happened to Baby Bear? What happened to Baby Bear? They had murdered one of their own. It was an incomprehensible tragedy.

1472. A traditional fairy story

For once, a traditional fairy story…

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a king and queen ruled over a distant land. The queen was kind and lovely and all the people of the kingdom adored her. The only sadness in the queen’s life was that she wished for a child but did not have one.

One winter’s day, the queen was sewing an apron to sell to raise money for the local school. She gazed out the ebony window at new fallen snow. She pricked her finger. A single drop of blood fell on the snow. As she looked at the blood on the snow she said, “How I wish I would have a daughter with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony.”

Well quite frankly if that’s what she wanted she shouldn’t have married a king from the Highlands of Papua New Guinea.