1072. Lilies and cats

Kenneth had an allergy to pollen. He was especially plagued by pollen from lilies. Of course, Eunice, his wife, absolutely loved lilies. She would fill the vases with lilies every Easter, and poor Kenneth was left sneezing, wheezing, and weeping throughout the entire Paschal Season.

“It’s not Easter without lilies,” declared Eunice.

“It not Easter without hay fever,” said Kenneth.

Kenneth would get a pair of scissors and cut the pollen-laden stamens off. By the time he’d finished he was a blubbering, weeping mess. It was the same every year.

“You’ve ruined the lilies,” said Eunice. “Now I’ll have to get more.”

What a providential day it was when Eunice came home from the doctor’s and announced the discovery that she was allergic to cat fur.

“Thank goodness we don’t have a cat,” laughed Eunice.

Kenneth smiled.

1043. Facial tissues

Amy Thornton stood in the supermarket aisle and viewed all the boxes of facial tissues. So many brands. So many infusions. There was eucalyptus and jasmine and cinnamon and … some were just plain plain with no smell at all.

Then there were degrees of softness. Some were light and fluffy and some were strong. The fluffy ones were useless; one sneeze and they’d have a hole right through, putting phlegm in the palm of the hand.

Then there were different sizes: big ones, small one, some for the car, some for the handbag…

Life was so much easier when there had been only the one brand with the one size. In fact it was so much easier when people used a handkerchief.

Amy Thornton sneezed. It was a great big sneeze that sent particles of her common cold all over the boxes of tissues. The sneeze was what Amy had been waiting for. Now everyone who bought a tissue box would have reason to use it.