Tag Archives: slippers

1602. Cosy slippers

Granny Sugden’s house may have been warm and cosy, but she always had cold feet. She would put several socks on and slip her socked feet into fluffy slippers as she sat in her arm chair to watch television. All to no avail. Her feet stayed cold, and that was that. The only time she had warm feet was in the shower.

Granny Sugden’s granddaughter had a brainwave; she would buy a pair of those heated house slippers that plug in. Sort of like an electric blanket only in the shape of slippers, both slippers joined by a safe electric wire. That way Granny could watch television with her feet cosily tucked away.

The granddaughter found a pink pair. Happy Birthday Granny! She opened her parcel and was… delighted. Thrilled! Of course, there was no electric plug near her armchair, but the problem was solved with an extension cord. Just the bee’s knees, said Granny. Just the cat’s pyjamas! Just what the doctor ordered! Her granddaughter left to go home, with Granny sitting in her armchair as content as could be. She would have purred if she had been a cat.

An hour or two later the granddaughter thought she would check to see how things were going. She phoned. Granny leaped out of her chair and went to dash to the sideboard to get the ringing phone. She forgot that her slippers were wired up together. She tripped and hit her head on the coffee table.

Granny Sugden never had to worry about cold feet ever again.

878. Eek!

878eek

It was Susannah’s eighth birthday. She jumped out of bed and put her feet into her slippers. There was a mouse in one of them.

Eek!

Today she turns ninety-seven. She has checked for a mouse in her slippers approximately thirty-two thousand five hundred and seven times.

Allowing for one minute for each checking, that comes to roughly forty-five days.

She could have gone on a forty-five day wonderful vacation somewhere that provided a life time of happy memories and photographs, but, oh no! the time had to be wasted by checking for a mouse in her slippers. Or conversely, she could have gone on a forty-five day wonderful vacation and been killed in a helicopter crash or something. Or she could have met her husband on the wonderful forty-five day vacation and had kids. Or…

Eek indeed!

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