Tag Archives: saying

2361.  Don’t cut the branch you are sitting on

Lois was always full of good advice – for everyone else. “Don’t cut the branch you are sitting on” she used to say, as if the saying applied to everyone and everything under the sun.

Whenever anyone criticized another it was always “Don’t cut the branch you are sitting on. You never know when you might need the help of that person.”

One day at work a colleague fell into the grain grinder. What a mess! “That,” said Lois, “is what you get when the boss doesn’t implement proper safety procedures.” In fact, Lois wouldn’t shut up about it. She went on and on and on about it for a week. The boss had had enough.

At the end of the week the boss fired Lois. As Lorna of 34 Hillsbury Crescent said to Lois, “Don’t cut the branch you are sitting on.”

1820. People in glass houses

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones – or so the saying goes. Geoffrey Higginbotham lived in a glass house.

It wasn’t one of those garden glass houses, you silly person. It was a real house but it had lots and lots of glass; big (in fact huge) glass panes in the doors and windows. The view out was spectacular. The view in was zilch. The windows were tinted and acted like mirrors.

It had one disadvantage: birds were forever attacking their own reflections in the glass. There would be a WHOMP and a dead bird would lie on the path beneath the window. This could happen several times a day.

Geoffrey tried to save as many birds as possible as often as he could by throwing stones and small rocks at them to scare them away. I know what you’re thinking: people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Geoffrey never broke a window with a stone. Not the once. But there was getting to be quite a collection of rocks and stones on the path. One day, Geoffrey tripped on a rock, broke his ankle, and fell headfirst through a gigantic pane.

Which is the real reason why people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.