Tag Archives: sandwich

2077. Enrique’s sandwich bar

Enrique came up with a brilliant plan. His sandwich bar in the side street downtown had been doing poorly. He estimated that within a week he would have to close down. The rent had become impossible. Fewer and fewer lunchtime patrons seem to call. A drastic change was called for; perhaps a final fling.

Enrique’s brilliant plan was this: he would go bizarre. The Bizarre Sandwich Bar had a ring to it. It was everything or nothing.

Lots and lots of strange combinations ensued: banana and lettuce sandwiches, tomato and honey sandwiches, leek and strawberry sandwiches… There was no end to Enrique’s imagination. People were in for a risk; a dare. Have you tried Enrique’s peanut butter and dried apricot sandwich?

Can I have just a plain ham sandwich please? Certainly not; there’s nothing bizarre about that.

Enrique’s experiment was a complete flop.

1168. Cheese goes with anything

Portia’s husband had been an extremely successful businessman; so much so that Portia had never had to work. She had spent her married life pursuing hobbies. One of these hobbies was cheese-making.

Portia was invited to speak about cheese-making to the monthly gathering of the Country Women’s Institute.

“The great beauty of cheese,” began Portia, “is that even in a simple sandwich it goes with so many things. You can have it in a sandwich just on its own. Or you can have it with egg, or onion, or jam, or vegemite. Occasionally I like to have it with a smidgen of tomato sauce. You can have it with celery or shrimps or cold meat. There are countless things you can put with cheese.”

What Portia failed to mention was that the last time she made a cheese sandwich for her late husband, he had it with arsenic.

1151. Out to lunch

Two people worked in the office, Patricia and Evelyn. Well three people actually counting Mavis the cleaning lady who popped in and out periodically. When Patricia’s aunt died, she left Patricia two and a half thousand dollars! A favourite aunt indeed!

Patricia was so excited that she suggested to Evelyn that they go out to lunch together to celebrate. “And I’m paying,” said Patricia.

“You’ve no idea,” said Evelyn later (in confidence) to Mavis the cleaning lady, “you’ve no idea. She took me to Mr Slice’s Tea rooms and ordered a cheese and onion sandwich each. You’d think with all that money she’d be able to do better than that.”

“She’s a few crumbs short of a cake,” said Mavis (the cleaning lady). “Count your lucky stars. I didn’t get even a cheese and onion sandwich.”