Tag Archives: recipe

2337.  Rhubarb and Strawberry Cobbler

Look! I used the recipe you posted on your blog and quite frankly it was disgusting. I followed it to a T, and it still turned out horrible. The comments from some of your readers appeared to be helpful. One said the dessert was too runny, so I added more flour. Another said there wasn’t enough topping, so I doubled it. Yet another said it turned out way too sweet, so I halved the sugar.

The dessert turned out tart, heavy, and solid as a rock. I didn’t have any rhubarb so I used some crab apples off the neighbour’s tree instead. Both rhubarb and crab apples are afterall quite sour. And instead of strawberries I used a banana as it is high in potassium and can only be healthy.

I couldn’t see how crab apples could be put into a pot and heated without any liquid so I was going to put a touch of olive oil in the pot but I didn’t because I didn’t have any. So I used a teaspoon or two of lard instead.

Your recipe wasn’t just tart, heavy, and solid; it was FATTY. You have no right to claim that your recipe is healthy when if anything it is exactly the opposite. We had to smother the finished product in whipped cream to make it consumptible.

What is healthy about that? That’s the last recipe of yours I will try. It was extremely disappointing and you don’t appear to have an ounce of remorse. That is why I graded it with a zero on Facebook. It ruined our Christmas dinner, which was a delicious pre-cooked chicken that we reheated for our sumptuous feast.

My daughter doesn’t like chicken, so she defrosted some beef in the fridge but the blood ran down the fridge shelf and into your disgusting dessert. You have no idea how disappointing your pretentious and crapulous recipe was. A pox on your blog.

2334. Healthy eating

Anne and Peter had long retired. Occasionally their peace would be shattered by noisy and loveable grandchildren, but generally they lived a quiet, yet active, existence.

“We should really cut down a bit on our meat intake,” suggested Peter one day.

“Meat is certainly one of the more expensive foods. It would save a bit, and besides, less meat is apparently a more healthy option,” said Anne.

“Less meat it is!”

Anne found a recipe for beans and other vegetables that when cooked and minced up looked exactly like ground meat. Because it was the first time she had used the recipe it took a little longer than it normally would. She had followed the recipe meticulously. It smelt lovely. In fact, it actually smelt a little like ground beef. She arranged helpings on plates with mashed potato, and a cucumber and shallot salad.

“Come and get your healthy meal!” called Anne to Peter. He was reading the paper in the next room, ensconced in an armchair. “Everything’s ready!”

Peter continued to sit. He was dead.

2333. Cranberry sauce

Ailsa was a reasonable cook. The thing was, when she cooked a turkey for some special occasion or other, what she was most secretly proud of was her cranberry sauce.

It may not seem much, said Ailsa, but it’s a recipe the early colonists to this country would have used. I got the recipe out of a really old recipe book that was being sold with other used books at the Farmers’ Market. It doesn’t put all this other nonsensical stuff in like oranges and lemons and the baby and the bathwater. It’s simply fresh cranberries and sugar.

This year there was no cranberries in the stores. Ailsa searched from store to store. In the end she bought a jar of commercially made cranberry sauce. I shall place it is a dish and serve it as if it’s mine, thought Ailsa. But everyone will know it’s not as good as the traditional recipe. I’ll simply say I branched out a little this year and attempted to make something more modern.

Oh Ailsa, gushed Candice almost bordering on the salacious. Your cranberry sauce! It’s wonderful! It’s so much better than all the other years you have been making it. Did you change the recipe?

2057. Chicken Stew with Duck Confit and Cabbage

Thanks so much, Kitchen Cheffie, for yesterday’s fabulous recipe on your website. I used it for dinner last night and everyone loved it, including hubby who doesn’t always eat everything I cook. He’s such a fussy eater! I have never tried Chicken Stew with Duck Confit and Cabbage before. It’s a winner.

As I have said many times before in the comments on your blog, we like to eat healthy. So I omitted everything except for the water and cabbage. Besides, I didn’t have any chicken in the house. Your recommended cooking time was far, far too long and I ended up having to puree the cabbage into a soup because it had disintegrated too much. Seven hours at a low temperature is way too much. Also the yellowing outer leaves of the cabbage discoloured the finished product a little.

Another reason for adapting your recipe was that I didn’t know what Duck Comfort was. You need to explain things sometimes for your readers. I presume it’s some sort of “comfort food” so that was another reason for omitting that ingredient because of unhealthy overtones!!!!!!

I likewise wondered why you cooked it in the oven when the stove top would have been sufficient?

All in all, a wonderful recipe. It’s a keeper. One funny thing happened which I shouldn’t really tell but I simply must! The cabbage was home-grown, so when I took it out of the oven after seven hours there had been a good twenty or so earwigs hiding in the cabbage. They were cooked along with the cabbage! Let’s hope there were no slugs. Next time I’ll cut the cabbage up first – maybe into quarters. The earwigs didn’t matter in the long run because after I pureed everything no one noticed them.

1664. You get what you pay for

Let this be a warning! A warning to those of you who think the recipes on this site are worth trying. It’s impossible to think of an explanation adequate enough to describe how this person has tried to pull the wool over our eyes. She calls herself a cook. A cook, my foot! I spent a lot of time and wasted energy, not to mention squandered costly ingredients, making this recipe. I followed everything almost to a tee. And what a disaster! She called the recipe “Shortbread”. Yeah right. She was spot on there. It certainly came out as shortbread, but I adapted it because I wanted a coffee cake. It was horrible. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to post.

1637. Rabbit stew

Cecylia had a most unusual hobby. Naturally she couldn’t pursue it all the time, like once a day. Once a week was plenty, although in fact once a month was more the usual practice. Cecylia collected (and used) rabbit recipes.

It all began one day when a friend called in for a cup of coffee and they got talking.

“I don’t know how anyone could cook a rabbit any other way than in a rabbit stew. Rabbit is surely the most uninteresting edible mammal on the planet.”

This set Cecylia on a mission. For the last seven months she had found eleven creative ways to cook rabbit. One of the recipes, rabbit cooked in prunes, wasn’t as successful as the others, but all in all (as Cecylia’s friend said) “When it comes to rabbit there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

Since Cecylia’s hobby almost bordered on an obsession, her friend arranged for them to visit a rabbit farm for Cecylia’s birthday.

“It’ll be such fun, and maybe the farmer’s wife (how very sexist of me) will have a few rabbit recipes she can share.”

Off they went!

“Oh look at the beautiful bunny-rabbits! Oh aren’t they lovely? Oh this one has baby bunnies – all five of them! Oh look at all the colours! How cute! I see you have angora rabbits as well. They are so soft! Oh how gorgeous! I simply must knit an angora rabbit hat! What a lovely birthday gift! Not only a visit to the bunny farm but an oh-so-soft angora rabbit muff and scarf as well! How marvellous!”

Cecylia (as the reader will have already deduced) never cooked another bunny-rabbit.

1348. Crackers

Hubby just adores my crackers. I’m thrilled. I’ve always had trouble knowing what to do for nibbles, and so a simple dip with these (how exciting!!) crackers and the pre-dinner drinks can’t but help be a success. They’re just like grandma used to make!

Stacey, one of the guests, thought they were marvellous too. Rosemary and sesame seeds, I said. That’s the secret! Rosemary and sesame seeds. She was the only guest to comment on them, but I noticed there was not a crumb left. I’m so pleased with myself at producing the ideal accompaniment for wines and beers!

I never dreamt, even in my silliest moments, that I’d get excited about crackers!!! All I’ve got to do now is to go through the trash to find the packet, because I can’t remember the brand.

952. Just desserts

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Meryl collected recipe books. She had what appeared to be hundreds. They were all ordered on shelves according to type: pickles and chutneys, desserts, foreign recipes, and so on. Of course, many recipe books were collections of all sorts, so she had shelves for all sorts as well.

Meryl’s carrot cake was apparently a phenomenon. “You should use my recipe,” said Meryl to Nancy. “My recipe doesn’t come out as sticky as yours. It’s perfection.”

“Your pumpkin pie,” said Meryl to Charlene, “is very nice, but I have the best pumpkin pie recipe in the world. You’re welcome to use it.”

“You overcooked your roast?” said Meryl (in wonderment) to Dottie. “I have a way of cooking roasts that’s fail-proof.”

In short, Meryl’s reputation for fine cooking had become a legend. And what a thrill it was when she was coming to the pot-luck dinner!

“Could you bring some dessert?” asked Charlene.

“We’re so looking forward to it,” said Dottie.

“I can’t wait,” said Nancy.

Meryl had to drive an hour and a half out of town – way-way out of the neighbourhood – to purchase a dessert no one would recognize.

To listen to the story being read click HERE!

799. Dear Julia

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Dear Julia

I am outraged. Your recipe for oxtail stew suggests a cupful of red wine. That is disgusting. You are doing nothing other than encouraging drunken alcoholism. I left the wine out before taking up your suggestion of cooking the oxtail slowly for five hours! Five hours! The meat cooked quickly. It had gone brown which surely is a sign that something’s cooked. I took it off the stove after thirty minutes.

As for the celery, I left that out too. My family are not rabbits. Also the carrots. And the potatoes got the heave-ho; they’re so unimaginative. You’d think being a popular chef on television and elsewhere that you could find something more imaginative than potatoes.

A pinch of salt! Drag yourself at least into the nineteenth century. Haven’t you heard of hardening of the arteries? I left the salt out too. And those other disgusting herbs that you wanted put in, like a bay leaf and some rosemary. Dead foliage I call them.

In conclusion I would like to say that I thought the end product was rather bland. I do wish you’d stop foistering your mediocre recipes on the gullible public. My three sons demanded proper food, so I had to open a couple of cans of baked beans.

Signed: A Proper Cook

To listen to the story being read click HERE!

312. Thelma’s Bacon Chicken Recipe

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Thelma’s Bacon Chicken Recipe

Cook bacon in 12″ skillet until crisp. Crumble bacon and set aside.

Sauté chicken breasts over medium heat. Place chicken in baking dish.

Cook onion and garlic in drippings remaining in skillet until onion is softened, then stir in salt, pepper, and cooked bacon. Spoon over chicken breasts and sprinkle with cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

Reviews

• Everyone in my family loved it!! I absolutely will make this again. Only thing I found wrong was the cook time – Coral

• This was the best chicken recipe I have made in a long time. It’s hard to get my 5 year old to eat chicken so I used beef instead. I would definitely make it again and again!! GREAT RECIPE!!! – Deidre

• I loved this recipe but I cooked it all in the oven. I had a few potatoes which I cubed and placed in the baking dish with the beef as Deidre above suggested, seasoned the potatoes and beef together and added, not only bacon and onions, but mushrooms, chopped chorizo, parsley and paprika. WOW! What a recipe! Thank you! – Lois

• My husband LOVES this dish, I did do a few things different as Lois above suggested. And I substituted red bell peppers for the onions. This bakes up to be one scrumptious meal – Yvonne

• The whole family loved this!!! I left out the garlic. We’re vegan, so I left out the beef and cheese too. The kids even asked for it again the next night – Emily

• I followed the changes suggested above and omitted the meat and replaced the suggested vegetables with chopped cabbage. I boiled the cabbage, then drained it and put a sprinkling of pepper on it with a few dabs of butter. My family went crazy! Hubby just adored it! Thank you! thank you! for such a fabulous recipe!!!!! I will definitely use this recipe again and again – Ida

• I followed Ida’s suggestion above exactly, although I left out the cabbage and just used the butter and pepper. Wonderful! Thank you for the recipe – Maurice

• I left out the butter and pepper suggested above. Quite the simplest bacon chicken recipe in years. And so quick to make. Although next time I’ll use less water. Thank you! It’s genius! Pure genius! – Deborah