Tag Archives: recipe

1664. You get what you pay for

Let this be a warning! A warning to those of you who think the recipes on this site are worth trying. It’s impossible to think of an explanation adequate enough to describe how this person has tried to pull the wool over our eyes. She calls herself a cook. A cook, my foot! I spent a lot of time and wasted energy, not to mention squandered costly ingredients, making this recipe. I followed everything almost to a tee. And what a disaster! She called the recipe “Shortbread”. Yeah right. She was spot on there. It certainly came out as shortbread, but I adapted it because I wanted a coffee cake. It was horrible. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to post.

1637. Rabbit stew

Cecylia had a most unusual hobby. Naturally she couldn’t pursue it all the time, like once a day. Once a week was plenty, although in fact once a month was more the usual practice. Cecylia collected (and used) rabbit recipes.

It all began one day when a friend called in for a cup of coffee and they got talking.

“I don’t know how anyone could cook a rabbit any other way than in a rabbit stew. Rabbit is surely the most uninteresting edible mammal on the planet.”

This set Cecylia on a mission. For the last seven months she had found eleven creative ways to cook rabbit. One of the recipes, rabbit cooked in prunes, wasn’t as successful as the others, but all in all (as Cecylia’s friend said) “When it comes to rabbit there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

Since Cecylia’s hobby almost bordered on an obsession, her friend arranged for them to visit a rabbit farm for Cecylia’s birthday.

“It’ll be such fun, and maybe the farmer’s wife (how very sexist of me) will have a few rabbit recipes she can share.”

Off they went!

“Oh look at the beautiful bunny-rabbits! Oh aren’t they lovely? Oh this one has baby bunnies – all five of them! Oh look at all the colours! How cute! I see you have angora rabbits as well. They are so soft! Oh how gorgeous! I simply must knit an angora rabbit hat! What a lovely birthday gift! Not only a visit to the bunny farm but an oh-so-soft angora rabbit muff and scarf as well! How marvellous!”

Cecylia (as the reader will have already deduced) never cooked another bunny-rabbit.

1348. Crackers

Hubby just adores my crackers. I’m thrilled. I’ve always had trouble knowing what to do for nibbles, and so a simple dip with these (how exciting!!) crackers and the pre-dinner drinks can’t but help be a success. They’re just like grandma used to make!

Stacey, one of the guests, thought they were marvellous too. Rosemary and sesame seeds, I said. That’s the secret! Rosemary and sesame seeds. She was the only guest to comment on them, but I noticed there was not a crumb left. I’m so pleased with myself at producing the ideal accompaniment for wines and beers!

I never dreamt, even in my silliest moments, that I’d get excited about crackers!!! All I’ve got to do now is to go through the trash to find the packet, because I can’t remember the brand.

952. Just desserts

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Meryl collected recipe books. She had what appeared to be hundreds. They were all ordered on shelves according to type: pickles and chutneys, desserts, foreign recipes, and so on. Of course, many recipe books were collections of all sorts, so she had shelves for all sorts as well.

Meryl’s carrot cake was apparently a phenomenon. “You should use my recipe,” said Meryl to Nancy. “My recipe doesn’t come out as sticky as yours. It’s perfection.”

“Your pumpkin pie,” said Meryl to Charlene, “is very nice, but I have the best pumpkin pie recipe in the world. You’re welcome to use it.”

“You overcooked your roast?” said Meryl (in wonderment) to Dottie. “I have a way of cooking roasts that’s fail-proof.”

In short, Meryl’s reputation for fine cooking had become a legend. And what a thrill it was when she was coming to the pot-luck dinner!

“Could you bring some dessert?” asked Charlene.

“We’re so looking forward to it,” said Dottie.

“I can’t wait,” said Nancy.

Meryl had to drive an hour and a half out of town – way-way out of the neighbourhood – to purchase a dessert no one would recognize.

799. Dear Julia

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Dear Julia

I am outraged. Your recipe for oxtail stew suggests a cupful of red wine. That is disgusting. You are doing nothing other than encouraging drunken alcoholism. I left the wine out before taking up your suggestion of cooking the oxtail slowly for five hours! Five hours! The meat cooked quickly. It had gone brown which surely is a sign that something’s cooked. I took it off the stove after thirty minutes.

As for the celery, I left that out too. My family are not rabbits. Also the carrots. And the potatoes got the heave-ho; they’re so unimaginative. You’d think being a popular chef on television and elsewhere that you could find something more imaginative than potatoes.

A pinch of salt! Drag yourself at least into the nineteenth century. Haven’t you heard of hardening of the arteries? I left the salt out too. And those other disgusting herbs that you wanted put in, like a bay leaf and some rosemary. Dead foliage I call them.

In conclusion I would like to say that I thought the end product was rather bland. I do wish you’d stop foistering your mediocre recipes on the gullible public. My three sons demanded proper food, so I had to open a couple of cans of baked beans.

Signed: A Proper Cook

312. Thelma’s Bacon Chicken Recipe

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Thelma’s Bacon Chicken Recipe

Cook bacon in 12″ skillet until crisp. Crumble bacon and set aside.

Sauté chicken breasts over medium heat. Place chicken in baking dish.

Cook onion and garlic in drippings remaining in skillet until onion is softened, then stir in salt, pepper, and cooked bacon. Spoon over chicken breasts and sprinkle with cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

Reviews

• Everyone in my family loved it!! I absolutely will make this again. Only thing I found wrong was the cook time – Coral

• This was the best chicken recipe I have made in a long time. It’s hard to get my 5 year old to eat chicken so I used beef instead. I would definitely make it again and again!! GREAT RECIPE!!! – Deidre

• I loved this recipe but I cooked it all in the oven. I had a few potatoes which I cubed and placed in the baking dish with the beef as Deidre above suggested, seasoned the potatoes and beef together and added, not only bacon and onions, but mushrooms, chopped chorizo, parsley and paprika. WOW! What a recipe! Thank you! – Lois

• My husband LOVES this dish, I did do a few things different as Lois above suggested. And I substituted red bell peppers for the onions. This bakes up to be one scrumptious meal – Yvonne

• The whole family loved this!!! I left out the garlic. We’re vegan, so I left out the beef and cheese too. The kids even asked for it again the next night – Emily

• I followed the changes suggested above and omitted the meat and replaced the suggested vegetables with chopped cabbage. I boiled the cabbage, then drained it and put a sprinkling of pepper on it with a few dabs of butter. My family went crazy! Hubby just adored it! Thank you! thank you! for such a fabulous recipe!!!!! I will definitely use this recipe again and again – Ida

• I followed Ida’s suggestion above exactly, although I left out the cabbage and just used the butter and pepper. Wonderful! Thank you for the recipe – Maurice

• I left out the butter and pepper suggested above. Quite the simplest bacon chicken recipe in years. And so quick to make. Although next time I’ll use less water. Thank you! It’s genius! Pure genius! – Deborah