Tag Archives: railway

2093. Oh what a tragedy!

Have you any idea how expensive it is to get a divorce? Raymond wanted to get rid of his wife but he wasn’t keen to lose almost half of what he’d worked for throughout his life. It was cheaper (and quicker) simply to get rid of her in a cunning and imperceptible way.

He devised a fabulous plan. As far as he could work out, it hadn’t been done before – at least he’d never heard of it. He had one of those cars whereby the driver had controls to lock the car doors. It was a child protection device. If the children in the back and passenger seats were messing around they couldn’t accidently open the door and fall out.

What Raymond would do was to stall the car on a rail crossing just as a train was hurtling towards them. Then he’d quickly press the button to lock his wife’s door, leap out his own door, and… Oh what a tragedy! Oh what a sadness! Why did it happen to me?

It wasn’t exactly something he could practise. After all, how many cars can one afford? But he drove the route several times and knew well the times the trains passed.

The day arrived. They were to visit great aunt Maude and bring her the usual weekly supply of chocolate and cat food. They were just about to leave (Raymond was actually wearing his running shoes!) when a message came that great Aunt Maud’s sister also wanted to visit Maude, and could they pick her up on the way? That ruined things. The request meant they would have to take another route. Murder would have to wait another day.

The following week off they went on their habitual visit. Raymond’s wife (goodness, as yet she is not introduced – her name was Fiona) had trouble dragging Raymond’s drugged body to the garage and into the car. Once done she drove to the rail crossing and stopped. She got out to watch.

Oh what a tragedy! Oh what a sadness! Why did it happen to me?

(P.S. A Happy Easter to all who wish to be wished such! I shall be hopefully back with a murder on the 5th, Easter Monday!)

1185. A clever trick

Albert was for ever playing little tricks on his children. For example, when he was driving over a railway crossing with his kids in the back seat, he would stop on the railway line, pretend the car stalled, and ask “Any trains coming?”

The kids would always scream, “NO!”

Of course, Albert always checked both ways before pretending to stall on the railw…

980. An inevitable end

980rail

Cedric had to cross a railway line to get home after work. It wasn’t a direct thing. He would get dropped off next to the railway line after his ride home from work. Then he would walk through a small line of trees, cross over the railway track, pass through another line of trees, cross an unbusy road, and he would be home.

He did that every working day for nearly five years. The trains came through at regular times, so he didn’t need to look as he crossed over. Besides, who couldn’t hear a train coming?

And so it was; get dropped off; go through trees; cross the railway track; go through more trees; cross the road; home.

After five years, Cedric decided to move house. On his very last day in his old house, before moving, he crossed the railway line, and was tragically hit by a car while crossing the road.