Tag Archives: races

1028. An improbable story with a facile slant, about a dog

Jocelyn had always envied those who won the silver platter at the annual village greyhound racing derby. Every year, for the past eleven years, she had entered a dog in the premiere race and not won a thing. This year it was going to be different. She had prepared for this race for more than two years.

An unfortunate thing, however, was that when her new greyhound puppy was born she named it Toilet. Some people have no idea if you ask me. It was a cruel name; even for a dog. But Toilet it was. Jocelyn insisted. How pathetic is that?

Fourteen dogs lined up at the start line, including Toilet. Off they went! Toilet was lagging behind the other thirteen.

“GO TOILET!” screamed Jocelyn.

All thirteen opposition stopped to do their business. Toilet raced ahead.

Jocelyn took the silver platter home. She changed her dog’s name to Victorius.

1008. A dollar each way

7horses

I like to put a dollar or two on the horses. Not much, mind. Just a dollar each way, here and there. Once I won almost nine hundred dollars. Nine hundred dollars! Can you imagine that!

My wife – well my ex-wife actually, but that’s another story – she didn’t like me putting the occasional dollar on the horses. She used to think that there were better things to spend money on. Dresses and stuff I suppose. Yeah right. And lipstick and junk.

When they took the kids away she upped and left. She’d had enough she said. The judge gave her custody of the kids eventually. But I don’t see anything wrong with it. Just a dollar here and there, each way. Occasionally.