Tag Archives: proposal

1033. That’s because

Your lips are as sweet as honey.
– That’s because I’ve been cooking dinner and tasting it to make sure it’s to your liking.

Your hands are soft and fragrant.
– That’s because I’ve been doing the laundry in the tub because your washing machine is broken.

Your hair is wild and natural and lovely.
– That’s because I’ve been up the hill out the back in the wind collecting firewood to warm the house.

Your body is lithe and perfect, like a model in an advertising centrefold of popular magazines.
– That’s because I spend hours digging your vegetable garden and mowing your lawns.

Your walk is as graceful as a gazelle.
– That’s because I walk your dog every day.

Your taste in clothes is impeccable.
– That’s because I buy the occasional thing with money earned from working a forty hour week.

You are the perfect woman. Marry me.
– I’m outta here.

Poem 17c: A modest proposal

17cproposal

(a pantoum, with seven footnotes to aid scholars) (1)

I know you’ll say no
No! No! The answer’s yes!
But can we give marriage a go?
I thought you’d never ask, I must confess.

No! No! The answer’s yes!
I went and bought a ring(2) in case.
I thought you’d never ask, I must confess.
I didn’t want to lose face, Stace.(3)

I went and bought a ring(4) in case.
I’ve already said I will
I didn’t want to lose face, Stace.(5)
You’re not listening to me, Bill.(6)

I’ve already said I will
I knew you didn’t love me
You’re not listening to me, Bill.(7)
You think you’re way above me.

I knew you didn’t love me
Now you’re pissing me off
You think you’re way above me.
Yeah right, I’m one of them highfalutin toffs.

Now you’re pissing me off
But can we give marriage a go?
Yeah right, I’m one of them highfalutin toffs.
I knew you’d say no.

(1) “A Modest Proposal” – Not to be confused with Jonathan Swift’s literary work with the same name
(2) An engagement ring
(3) Her name was Stacey; Stace for short. The shortening of her name implies that he knew her quite well
(4) Probably the same ring as in note 2
(5) This is the same person as in a couple of footnotes back
(6) His name was Bill
(7) This is the same person as in another footnote, not the footnote regarding Stacey but the one about Bill