2611. The seven deadly sins

It came as a big shock to Andy to discover when he died that he had been reincarnated seven times as a human and each time had been an enormous flop. Each reincarnation had witnessed the scene of unmitigated immorality. Not one had been the same; in fact he had each time fulfilled the requirements for one of the seven deadly sins. In turn he had experienced pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth.

“If I get reincarnated again,” joked Andy, “there are no further deadly sins to experience. I guess I’ll just have to be good. I am determined to live a saintly life this time.”

Whoosh!! He was reincarnated. He was the best mosquito in the swamp.

879. Apple crumble

The man who coined the phrase “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” has died. Mr Pip Appleton passed away on Thursday evening with his wife at his bedside.

“The cause of his death was minor,” said Mrs Charity Appleton, “but he refused to see a doctor.”

Mr Pip Appleton was a well-known and respected orchardist in the area. He had come up with the phrase after a drop in sales and a glut of apples. The slogan worked. The whole world practically espoused the principle and sank their teeth into juicy Granny Smiths.

“It’s not simply a clever phrase,” gloried Mr Appleton, “it’s actually true.”

“It’s pride what killed him in the end,” said Mrs Charity Appleton. “Pride, not lack of apples. He refused to see a doctor simply because he wanted to prove the veracity of his slogan – right to the very end. Pride cometh before a fall.”

It is believed that Mrs Charity Appleton’s catchphrase, “Pride cometh before a fall”, is very likely to catch on.

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