Tag Archives: present

1836. Reap what you sow

Carol disliked Christmas immensely. It wasn’t because of people teasing her about her name, it was because everyone seemed to get Christmas presents and she didn’t get anything. All the other kids at school got presents, like Judith who got a doll when she already had one, and Marlene got a kitten.

It wasn’t because they were Jewish or anything either. Nor were they Christians. Her parents didn’t give her anything for Christmas but they seemed to go from one office Christmas party to another, and they even had a party at home with all sorts of decorations and lights and a tree.

On Christmas morning, no one pretended to come down the chimney, even though Carol left a peanut brownie that she had pinched from the cookie jar in the kitchen. But it was still there in the morning, and her parents slept in until eleven o’clock. To fill in the time waiting for them to get out of bed, Carol watched television on her own. And when they got up they never even said “Merry Christmas”.

“That’s because your parents are very busy,” said Marlene’s mother, Mrs. Brocklehurst. Carol spent quite a bit of time at the Brocklehurst’s house. Carol was dropped off there by her mother whenever she was having guests for an afternoon tea or dinner or something.

Anyway, that was years ago. These days Carol’s parents are in a retirement home. Carol’s mother is bed-ridden and her father is in a wheelchair. Carol never visits them. It’s not that she’s mean or anything; it’s just that it never occurred to her.

1207. An unexpected Christmas gift

 

Dolores got a most unexpected Christmas present the day after Christmas last year. It was an email that read:

What the IRS doesn’t want you to know. Emmanuel circuito financial rouge wishlist 9h iva circular mujer rsvp cumple musical sui viagem memory hrs heather autres sondage craigslist no…

Partially annoyed, Dolores clicked on it and responded with equal nonsense:

Thank you a lot for giving everyone a very breath-taking opportunity to discover important secrets from here. It is usually so great and as well, jam-packed with fun for me and my office colleagues to visit your site on the least three times per week to read through the latest stuff you have got. Not to mention, I’m actually fascinated concerning the powerful advice served by you.

She received the most wonderful reply:

Hi Dolores, Your response to our spam was perfect. We here at Anonymous Spammers dot Anonymous wondered if you would like to join our team? The pay is excellent.

Dolores now lives in a mansion and drives a Lamborghini.