Tag Archives: prediction

2680. Nostradamus II

I thought I’d post this to show off a little. I wrote it on the 30th of March 1963 when I was just thirteen and pretending to be Nostradamus.

It is the year 2023. The President of the United States has changed his/her name to Robinette to signify a commitment to transgenderation.

A man called something like Sputum or Gluten is the head communist of the Soviet Union.

Going to the moon is humdrum. Farting cows have caused the sea levels to rise. Windmills in the sea are killing off the whales. 500 acres of solar panels are now running a steel mill.

I have become very rich and famous writing under a pseudonym. I’m leaning towards using the name of J.K. Rowling.

Excuse me, like certain politicians I’ve got to dash. My pants are on fire.

1855. Fate deals the cards

Olga stumbled across a free online webpage that would interpret the four tarot cards clicked on. The entire deck of cards was spread out, face down. Things hadn’t been going well for Olga recently and she was searching for something positive to cling to. She had been threatened by strangers several times in the past week because she had been seen going into a fast food establishment that was no longer considered woke.

Olga clicked on four cards, even though she thought that such things online were bogus hocus-pocus. The four cards when clicked on turned their faces up. An interpretation of the selected cards was proclaimed by a computerized voice.

The first card shows that you are insecure and do not know whether or not to accept a recent invitation to a birthday party. Go! Go to the party!

That’s true, thought Olga. I have been invited to Elaine’s birthday party at the solstice and I wasn’t keen to go.

The second card indicates what sort of gift you should bring to the birthday party. Nothing too expensive; nothing too ostentatious. Just a pleasant gift that the person would enjoy.

How right that is, thought Olga. I am so pleased I bought Elaine a simple peace lily in a lovely pot.

The third card indicates someone else at the party whom you meet for the first time. It could be a person of the opposite sex. The card indicates that they will become a significant person in your life.

That is so exciting, thought Olga. I’m well into the marriageable age and have yet to find Mister Right.

The fourth and final card indicates…

It was then that Olga’s phone rang. Hello. Hello, said Olga. It was Elaine. Could Olga email her the online address for party games she had told her about? Sure she could. She would do so immediately.

What a shame that Olga never heard the reading for the remaining card she had selected. Otherwise she may not have been murdered at the party by “Mister Right”.