2593. A shocking tale

There was a knock on the door. It was the KGB; or the FBI; or the MI5; or the CCCPC; or the whatever. It didn’t really matter who, they were all the same, and doing the rounds.

Winnie had foolishly turned on her Christmas tree lights. Didn’t she know there was a power shortage? People were trying to charge their electric cars. The local steel mill was trying to run on a windmill. It was almost as bad as Mrs. Higginbotham of 95 Snodgrass Avenue who had selfishly plugged in her electric heater. Fortunately she had died of the cold.

Winnie explained that her small string of Christmas lights were solar. It was dismissed as a lie. Who could light up solar Christmas tree lights in this weather? Winnie was handcuffed and taken away. When solitary confinement didn’t budge her into submission she was taken out and electrocuted.

2492: A disappointing day

Griselda stood at her kitchen window and watched. It was eight in the morning and workers had arrived with their trucks and cranes to replace the old power pole that fed electricity to her house.

The electricity was cut but it was a winter’s day and the log burner was boiling water for coffee and for a soup for lunch.

Ten o’clock came. It was time for a coffee.

Two hours after coffee it was lunch time. Luckily Griselda watched from her kitchen window so she could prepare something to eat without leaving the scene.

Three o’clock came. It was time for yet another coffee. She could hardly drag herself away from the scene even for a quick visit to the bathroom.

Come five o’clock and it began to get dark. Suddenly the electricity came back on. The workers packed up and left.

It was the most uneventful nine hours Griselda had spent in ages. It was a great disappointment.

She had waited, camera in hand, all this time, and there was no accident; no man plummeting to the ground from a high cherry-picker; no crane collapsing and squashing the cab of a vehicle. The news media would’ve paid extravagantly for such snap shots.

Griselda had been transfixed for hours and all for nothing.

2291. Midnight mystery

Every time the clock strikes midnight, the entire house goes dark for 15 minutes. It doesn’t just go dark; everything switches off. I don’t find it scary, but it’s a nuisance. My girlfriend, who lives with me, finds it a bit scary however. I have to reset my alarm clock. I have to reset the oven clock, and the microwave clock, and the coffee machine clock. The night light above the garage door turns on when the power returns, only to not go off until it is reset. But the biggest hassle of all is that unless I thought to set it earlier, the bread-maker turns off in the middle of its cycle and there is no bread in the morning.

Needless to say, I called an electrician. He checked everything and said there was nothing wrong with anything and it shouldn’t happen. I got the feeling he didn’t believe me. He left, saying the only possible explanation was that things were being turned off by the supply company. Why don’t I phone them?

So I phoned them and all they said was don’t be silly. There’s no reason in the world why they would cut the electricity to my house for 15 minutes every midnight.  It was a bit of a relief because my ex-wife works at the supply company and I was afraid I might have struck her on the phone. She despises me and we’d be incapable of having a civil conversation. So luckily I didn’t get her when I called the power company. But it still doesn’t solve my problem as to why the entire house goes dark for 15 minutes every midnight.

2194. Life in the swamp

Ever since Janet had been a tadpole she had greatly admired the head frog, Queen Japonica. Queen Japonica’s greatest feature was that she didn’t let fear rule her life. If it was a sunny day she would bask in the shallow waters with the water barely covering her back.

“It is idyllic lying in both water and sunshine. Only a fool would fear the wading birds messing around in the swamp. Fear of wading oystercatchers is an unnecessary fear. I need to rest after laying so many eggs. Besides, as their name suggests, oystercatchers aren’t interested in frogs.”

And now Janet herself had grown into a stunningly beautiful frog. She still admired Queen Japonica greatly.

“That frog is almost a goddess,” said Janet. “She fears nothing, and rightly so.”

It therefore came as a great surprise when Charlie, the Head Sycophant in the Frog Court, approached Janet, bowed low and said, “Your Majesty – you are now queen.”

“Goodness gracious,” declared Janet. “What on earth happened to that magnificent queen we had?”

“Sadly, she passed away last Friday.”

“I first shall mourn for the late Queen Japonica,” said Janet.

“Japonica?” declared a surprised Head Sycophant. “Japonica was queen forty frogs ago. Queen Frogs keep getting eating by oystercatchers while basking in the sun. However I can understand your misunderstanding; we frogs all look the same.”

1432. Rampant teens

Percy Ellis and Gilbert Eichstaedt were two sixteen year olds who had let their hormones go rampant. In the area was a tower that enabled cell phone coverage for the forty or so houses in the rural valley that couldn’t connect to the phone satellite. The tower relayed a connection. The locals relied on the tower for communication with the outside world both for internet and phone.

Percy and Gilbert got in a jeep, and driving up a bumpy farm track reached the tower. They were messing around and then Percy cut some wires on the tower “because they were there” and the forty or so houses were plunged into no coverage.

Mr Eddie Edwards lived in a farm house near the tower. It was a good thirty minute stroll to the tower. He set out on foot, for it was a lovely day, to see why there was no coverage. When he reached the tower he saw the cut wires. Then he heard voices calling for help.

Percy and Gilbert had driven their jeep over a bank and the vehicle was perched precariously on the edge of a cliff, rocking, with the two inside.

“Help! Help! Phone for help!” they cried when they saw Mr Eddie Edwards looking down from the top of the bank.

Mr Eddie Edwards strolled the thirty minute walk back to his house. He put on the kettle to make a nice cup of tea.

1366. Thank you, darling

Hank was big time in a big company. The company supplied electricity to at least half the city. Despite his importance and huge salary, his wife, Kitty, owned and operated a small take-away food business. It had been Kitty’s life-time dream to operate such a place. And now they were rich enough for dreams to come true!

Oh but sadness of sadnesses! Kitty’s business was not going well. Not enough customers were calling to sample her delectable dinners.

But then a miracle happened! Half the city was plunged into darkness just before dinner time. The area around Kitty’s business had electricity. But you’ve no idea how many people flooded into Kitty’s shop to purchase dinner.

Thank you, darling.

Music 133: Abstract distraction

I don’t much like power poles and wires and stuff, but for some reason I rather like this one out my window!

Listen to the music HERE!