1740. A tale of a transcriptionist

Randolph was quietly excited! He was getting the perfect job. He would never have imagined an opportunity like this would come his way.

For several years he had been a freelance transcriptionist. He worked from home, mainly transcribing medical videos and recordings. But now he was offered a job that would involve so many videos that transcribing them could amount to almost permanent employment. It would make him worry-free as to where the next job was coming from. He had been asked to transcribe a collection of pornographic videos. Imagine that! Getting paid to watch porn all day!

Randolph began the task with a great deal of enthusiasm. The first video took him over four days. He had enormous trouble transcribing all the grunting and oohing that went on. Most of these exclamations he didn’t have a clue how to spell. Basically he made the spelling up.

By the end of the first week he was bored silly. He never wanted to see another pornographic video again in his life. And he still had heaps of videos to transcribe. Weeks dragged on. He had porn coming out his ears. Honestly! It was the most mind-numbing experience of his life. He vowed NEVER! NEVER AGAIN!

And then he was asked to be a voiceover for a new recording of these movies. Yes! Yes! Now that could be interesting!

Randolph was quietly excited! He was getting the perfect job. He would never have imagined an opportunity like this would come his way.

1201. Priceless

When Bernice took the photograph of her son she had no idea that in forty years’ time it would be used on the ten dollar bill. It was just an ordinary photo. It was black and white and taken with a Brownie Box Camera. She had taken the film to the pharmacist to get it developed and printed. The rest is history.

When her son’s image first appeared on the ten dollar bill, Bernice had to get a bigger handbag. Not because she had more money. Of course she didn’t have more money. It’s just that she didn’t like to fold the paper money in half. That would be like putting a crease in her son’s photo. Sometimes she even ironed some crumpled bank notes to make them look nice.

Of course after her son’s death his fame spread like wild fire. He was his country’s most famous scientist. In fact his formula

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had not only ousted Einstein’s Theory of Relativity but had made Einstein look like a bumbling idiot.

So when the truth came out that Bernice’s son during his life was the leading light in a pornographic ring, it was a great shock to everyone. People were reluctant to put the image of the famous scientist into their trouser pockets – neither front nor back.

The image on the ten dollar note was changed to a happy scene from Mary Poppins, and the old bank notes were destroyed.

These days any ten dollar bill with the porno-propagator’s image, if found, is priceless.