Not a sliver of liver
ever passed through Helmut’s guts.
Not a piddly kidney
ever passed through Tammy’s tummy.
Not a stripe of tripe
ever passed through Mephistopheles’ oesophagus.
Not a waffle of offal
ever passed through Valentine’s intestine.
Some might find it shocking on Valentine’s part
that he never had a heart.
To hear the poem read aloud click HERE.
Sir, can I tempt you with this week’s special: Ox Tongue.
Good heavens, waiter! I could never eat anything that came out of a cow’s mouth. Just give me an egg.
When the Reverend Bevin Barbridge was appointed to his new Episcopal Church of Saint Cuthbald in the Woods, he found the building itself considerably dilapidated.
He needed to raise money for a new roof. Rowena was the one! She could organise events with a paper bag over her head. And she did! She organised a Village Fair with the theme of Why Not Eat Insects? People flocked from all over, especially the youth. Who wouldn’t be daring enough to try fried crickets or a locust fritter? Barbequed grubs! Worms boiled in wild bee honey! Fried moths with ginger! What a marvellous success the fair was! What a marvellous money maker!
The following year the Reverend Bevin Barbridge needed to call on Rowena’s expertise again. The church building needed painting. This year the theme was Offal can be Offally Good. There were sweetmeats (which Rowena pointed out were calf pancreases), there were hearts, and brains, and livers, and kidneys, and oxtails, and hoof jellies, and mountain oysters, and sheep’s eyes, and… you name it, it was there.
No one came.
Listen the story being read HERE!
Weave a Web 