Tag Archives: nudity

1907. Breaking news

There’s a huge crack in Michelangelo’s statue of David. Chiara Lastra says she was shocked to see it. “From the front everything looks normal, but go to the other side of the statue and a gigantic crack in the marble reveals itself.”

“I have no idea why they don’t fix it,” said Giovanni Calamari. “It really is beyond a joke. The whole statue could fall apart at any time.”

The Society from the Protection of Art suggested that the side with the crack be pushed against the wall. That way no one would see it. And in fact upon hearing the suggestion the curator immediately pushed the statue against the wall. For a time the horror of the possible disintegration of David subsided.

David reared his ugly head again however. Matteo Frongillo, the curator’s assistant, off his own bat, decided to fill the unsightly crack up with plaster of Paris. It was with some relief that they were able to move the statue out from the wall. Once again tourists could view the masterpiece from all sides. Purists considered the curator’s assistant’s fix to be a travesty.

All was going well until some observant creature pointed out that there was also a crack in the armless statue of Venice de Milo. That too needed fixing.

1508: Beach nudity

Look at that female strutting on the beach with no clothes on – down to the water’s edge and back – like she owns the world. This is not a nudist beach. I don’t know what the world is coming to.

There she is now sitting down in the sand with not a care and eating a sandwich. The people with her are eating sandwiches too like they don’t give a hoot. It’s as if they haven’t noticed. It’s disgusting. Parading around on the beach naked is one thing; not for those she’s with to notice or object is another thing altogether. Their ignorance and callousness is hard to believe. How can the modern generation condone such a thing?

There she goes now. Lunch is clearly finished. She’s tossing a beach ball. Everyone is laughing. Oh for goodness sake. This is preposterous. Naked and flouncing around with a beach ball. Shame! Shame! Outrageous!

Put some clothes on! Either cover up or go to some nudist beach where immoral behaviour is tolerated. No wonder modern-day toddlers like this little girl grow up with no morals.