Tag Archives: name change

2338. Detestable name

Ahunikiritu Wednesday Eenshuistra-Kouwenhoven hated her name. When one is lumbered with a useless name at birth there seems to be very little one can do about it other than wait until one is old enough and then pay to have it changed. And that is exactly what Ahunikiritu Wednesday Eenshuistra-Kouwenhoven did! In fact, she so despised her name that she changed it on her very birthday.

For years people had misspelled it or mistyped it. Some seemed to think that to spell it with a “y” instead of an “i” was a more up market interpretation. Perhaps it looked more Polish – which of course it wasn’t.

Then there was the business of mispronunciation. You’d think the name was common enough (at least parts of it) for people to generally get the pronunciation right. Her surname seemed to give the most trouble. But no! Half the time for the first eighteen years of her life Ahunikiritu Wednesday Eenshuistra-Kouwenhoven didn’t even realize that people were addressing her and not someone else in the room.

So now the relief! All was changed! That was the end of that horrid, plain name of Jane Smith that half the world mispronounced as Jane Smyth. It was the beginning of a new era! Welcome to the world Ahunikiritu Wednesday Eenshuistra-Kouwenhoven!

2084. Name change

Pomphrey Jones hated his name. I don’t blame him. Who would want to be called that? “Where on earth did your parents get a name like that?” was a not infrequent question he was asked.

Honestly! If he had to give his name for some reason or other he would whisper it as if he had laryngitis, and then he’d cough to cover it up. That’s how embarrassed he was about it.

For his twenty-third birthday his newly-wedded wife paid for him to have a name change. Oh the relief! He’s on top of the world! “I don’t know why I didn’t do it earlier,” he said.

These days Pomphrey Smith is as happy as a sandboy.