1067. Let’s all make a card

Lizzie, the teacher, planned for her class to make Father’s Day cards. Oh! But she had forgotten that Samantha’s father was dead. The class couldn’t possibly make the cards, said Lizzie. It would be like rubbing Samantha’s face in it.

Lizzie, the teacher, planned for her class to make Mother’s Day cards. Oh! But she had forgotten that Jonathan’s mother was dead. The class couldn’t possibly make the cards, said Lizzie. It would be like rubbing Jonathan’s face in it.

Lizzie, the teacher, planned for her class to make Memorial Day cards. Oh! But she had forgotten that Angela’s aunt was killed in Afghanistan. The class couldn’t possibly make the cards, said Lizzie. It would be like rubbing Angela’s face in it.

Lizzie, the teacher, planned for her class to make Christmas cards. Oh! But she had forgotten that Tareq’s uncle was a Sunni from Jordan. The class couldn’t possibly make the cards, said Lizzie. It would be like rubbing Tareq’s face in it.

At last! said Lizzie. Good morning class! Today is Buddha’s Birthday in Nepal. No one here is a Buddhist I believe. No one is from Nepal. Let’s all make a card!

213. Cake mixer

The group standing outside the kitchen appliance centre were outraged. “Look at them!” cried the protestors. “Look at those men going into the shop (some, would you believe, with their kids) to buy a kitchen appliance for Mother’s Day. What are they teaching their kids? Look at them tying women to the sink.”

Montague had taken his kids (Maisie, Konrad and Anastasia) to the shop to get their mother a brand new cake mixer for Mother’s Day.

“That is disgusting,” shouted one in the protesting group. “What sort of example are you giving your kids?”

Montague ended up not buying a cake mixer. Gwenda (Montague’s wife and mother of Maisie, Konrad and Anastasia) got breakfast in bed, a bunch of flowers and a card.

Montague did most of the cooking anyway, as Gwenda wasn’t that good a cook. Gwenda thought she’d like to get better at it. You could tell she was nearly in tears. She pretended to be pleased, but she so wanted a cake mixer.

“Stuff it,” said sensitive Montague. They all piled into the car (Mum, Dad and the Kids) and went off to the appliance store where they bought the biggest and best cake mixer they could bloody well find.

“That is disgusting! What sort of example are you giving your kids?”

Oops! I forgot to mention: Gwenda has no arms.